the worried mouse

i am often burdened by my responsibilities in the office. for one, the mere fact that we can't pay all our suppliers on time threatens the going-concern of the company. and the obvious indication that they can't even pay our salaries and wages on time. now that is serious. i know, its unprofessional to talk about work. but this consumes me day after day. now that i have to handle redundancies. again, i am troubled.

if only there is a suitable work environment ready to pick me up and believe in what i can do. sometimes i am worried that my bosses do not even know how (even the slightest) that i am working very hard. no pat on the shoulder. no compliments. i was used to that kind of environment where merit is always rewarded.

at the end of the day, i am just glad that i have a job. and i am thankful for it.

but seriously, this aspect still does trouble me.

can u handle hot? pure evil grin in me...

I guess this is a question for someone who would have a lower threshold for hot temperature, that is in terms of perspiration. My whole body seemed like a leaking faucet. Originating from my forehead down to my back. Even the use of my D&G anti-perspirant is futile. Sheer embarrassment occurred to me when I was walking down at Sydney Uni. Everyone's looking at me. They were obviously thinking someone threw a water balloon at my back, underarms, front and my whole face.

I decided to strip my shirt off and remedy this jabaric situation using USYD toilet's hand dryer. Good thing, it was rectified. Remind me to wear undershirt next time. I was just being Aussie by not putting any under shirt. So bite me.

XS1.
Lets digress, shall we. There will come a point in your life that u will think that abusiveness cannot be tolerated anymore. Enough is enough. Though I felt bit bad with my actions. Hence tomorrow I will do something about it. Go early at work and try to please them. Reverse psychology might work on both accounts.

I placed the leech in the aquarium jar rather than killing it. There might be something I can do about their unrealistic demands. Perhaps give them frozen jello and make up for the unchivalry behaviour in me.

XS2.
Another story. Mike, our new house mate is really strange. I bet he's either schizophrenic or druggie (as what my friends have suggested). For one, he goes up and down and all around the house. Doing absolutely nothing. Slams everything. Keeps his shoes outside the house even if his room and the house are in a total chaotic state. But lets observe and will finally conclude by next week.

the crazy weekend

been up all night and its crazy as hell. always on parties and drinks. i think its based on the premise that the week to come would be a big deal and we just want to unworry. unstress. ala-NRMA ad.

i just cant divulge info here. it was fun night, met a lot of new friends. went out of the box by trying to do something new. indeed it was hot as summer can be!

******

mondays are usually the lowest point to work but still i have done lots of tasks today. i actually ran out of things to do in the office. hence i opted to use facebook and cook through my cafe world.

its all gloomy outside and all i wanna do is go home and start surfing the net. now that im online, i just want to sleep. i think im demented. i need a surge of retail therapy again to cure this state of mind.

and I'm an official fan!

There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some loves that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky enough to end up with somebody who has a little of that insanity. Someone who never lets go. Someone who cherishes you forever.

- Ally McBeal.

senselessness

anguished souls. burdened by myself unknowingly. carried away by eccentricity. i am sorry but trying to straighten things out. its futile. i'm not interested. next page please...

***

Summer's heat is on. After the hangover from guys night out, we played badminton. Too exhausted and lacking sleep. At least I shed off some calories.

Still wondering if I will go out tonight. Still pondering. Is it worth it?

***

I am demented. Yes and this doesn't make any sense at all.

Rondz' Wishlist 2010

When you're down, sometimes shopping can be a therapy. As wikipedia would say, it improves our mood or disposition in periods of depression or transition. and that is what you call - retail therapy.

Hang on?! I've used up my life savings during the past months of recession not to mention travels. How can this be possible?

Times like this, study shows that "window shopping online" can be an alternative to the actual retail therapy. Instead of buying, you are drawn to put up a wishlist. The same feel-good satisfaction you get when you walk around shops.

So far my wishlist are the following:
1. Stewie's Head

Will probably get this before the fiscal year ends? I still have lots of TV Shows to watch. And I reckon stocktake clearance sale would justify buying this!

2. The Book Thief

At the rate I'm going with my book readings, seems like I would justify to buy this one during Winter. Although Summer would help a lot cos I would be bringing something to read in the beach. But still have loads of books to read... I reckon Winter '10.

3. Ponyo DVD

I will definitely buy this DVD on Thursday, late night shopping day. Remember I always have fifty bucks shopping accrual. What justifies it? Rotten Tomato's review!

4. Evening with David Sedaris: 16/01/10

I will book this show on Friday, even if I'm going alone! I don't care. I would have a good laugh. I can concentrate even more. Hold it... I know I would look like a big L. So I might give one free ticket to a friend or a date. Let's see.

5. Gucci, Navy Blue Thong

I've tried it on, and it was spectacular.. Hmm... Fabulous if you may. I deserve to buy this, maybe as a Birthday Gift! :P

6. Bally, Transporter Tan Messanger Bag

Yes, I know. I wouldnt be able to use this. I'm working on a much lower profile company. If I were still in Ernst & Young I would definitely consider it. But right now, no no no! But maybe Christmas time, this could be a perfect gift for myself. And at that time, I would be working in a much better corporate environment.


Stress. Anxiety. - all gone!

HNY 2010.

A start of a new decade can be promising. Hopes and dreams are indeed carried-over. Aspirations seem to be auspicious. We venture our life with lots of mistakes, dismay and things we regret doing. But come to think of it, lessons were learned.

Resolutions. Quite pathetic and such a cliché. I would have to say that I will again strive with all my will power to succeed in endeavours I wanted to achieve.

So much has happened in 2009. I would not want to forget them. Yes, those are moments in the past but it musters courage giving me strength to face a promising year ahead. No need to jot down or recap these events, as they have been journalised. Sealed. and now I'm moving on.

Starting a new life can be refreshing. Yet can be scary sometimes. As long as we know that we have a concrete road to step on, choosing the path would be manageable.

-------------------

This years NYE was celebrated @ Ryde Municipality. Over at Niko's. But we were in the City after 6pm. I never realised that there would be 9pm fireworks. Shoot! If only we knew, we could have stayed bit longer.

No worries, at least we were able to have bit of drinks at my place. Together with my spanish speaking house mates and their hullata guests. We were obviously got lost in translation and decided to head out over at Niko's.

XS.
Don't treat me rubbish if you don't want to be treated rubbish. Otherwise, its going to be a dumpster and its not going to smell nice.