And so I began my small steps...

After a heavy drama, a cautious pace is what I need. Too afraid to falter and fall. There have been a lot of negative factors everyday. I get by slowly.

I realised that real friends always stay by your side on deepest, painful moments. They come freely to help you and that's the wealth that I have come to appreciate.  Not my savings. Not my luxury goods. But quality friends who will be there by your side, in times of affliction.

God is kind and He always provides. I am not devout in religion however I believe and I have faith. Enough faith to conquer doubts, uncertainties and desperation.

If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to there and it will move. Nothing is impossible for you. Matthew 17:20

Everything is possible for him who believes. Mark 9:23

Work-wise, I am happy that they support me as I take these small baby steps to full recovery. Though it may not be an ideal work load but still they are understanding enough to realise that health always comes first.

Eliminating Stress Marks

Per my photo below, it is evident how stressed I have become for the past weeks. Ultimately this last few days as I cram through my exam review. On top of that I will be leaving for Manila tomorrow.

I just hope this patch gel really works to eliminate my stress mark!

Fix me

The house is so quiet. It's raining once again. I've never felt this sad. I don't know what's bothering me. Maybe my upcoming exams. Or maybe the stress at work. I couldn't even feel that in matter of days, I will be flying off to my home.

Excitement will commence once I finish my work tomorrow. That is certain! I am not frightened with this module, maybe because its different. All other modules have strict standard, laws and regulation whilst MAA is purely on how you analyse the business and using your judgement to get the most out of a given situation.

If only I can apply all these decision-making tools into my life. If only I have the decision-making at work. All constraints are pulling me down into deep sadness. If only I can fix me.

Oh well, this will soon be finished. And I will enjoy my well-deserved holiday! Christmas with my family is the only anticipation that will reverse the misery out of me.

The Sun is UP!

It has risen like a big hope in desperate situation. I surely know that it wouldn't abandon me in times of frailty. As expected, this coming week is another challenge as my CFO would say. The transition will be tough but I am always hopeful that I shall surpass difficulties that may rest upon me.

I am working with Taste effective tomorrow. Though its a brand new company its management is familiar cos its a sister company of my old job. Wish me luck! I need to prove something again. 

Simple things that mean a lot

There are a lot of things to be thankful for. The greatest of them all is my survival in a sinking corporate world. It has been one helluva a drama in the office lately. But still I am happy that they still believe in me. And I continue to remain—a valued asset.

When we start to count our blessings, we realise how lucky we are. Despite all the hardships, we know something out there is worth suffering for. And there are reasons behind those unfortunate adversities.

I quote James Buckham: "Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before".

I am seeing a brighter 2012! Yes, I always considered myself optimistic. Although the year has not yet passed, 2011 have been a bit shaky. However I grow and become a stronger person.

I was reading through my past blogs awhile ago with Aiza. And I can't help but realise how time flies so fast. Nostalgic past and happy memories that strengthens my belief that I have been at worst scenarios, I survived. I have a lot of things to hold on to. God always provides a safety cushion whenever we feel a need. There is always a parachute that magically appears in every desperate situation.

... and I am eternally grateful for that.

Rainy days are here again

The past few weeks had been a total hell. The weather is gloomy and now it is raining profusely. Normally rain can be seen as a blessing cos it can bring abundance. However, this time around I say it's destructive. I see how it constantly poured and how it flooded through my path. Moreso for people who are helpless and doesn't have a refuge under the rain. I just hate this situation, where I can't do anything.

I've seen how it can start with a drizzle and then stop for a minute. Then after few pauses rain will be nonstop. It is just emotionally draining. And its unpredictability is just too outrageous .

It is tough and being strong, equipped with a sturdy giant umbrella somehow keeps me from being drenched. But still I feel its effect.

I've seen the weather forecast and here it is...

Come Monday, it will ease up and a brighter week ahead. So I keep my fingers crossed.

Negative Forces

One thing to battle against a company undergoing VA is the bad omen. It can come from staff, franchisees, suppliers and even executives.

Nothing beats angry suppliers, so I thought. Then my colleagues (who I can only imagine being possessed by evil spirits) come to you with a raised voice accusing you of this and that (i would love to spill it but still, I have to draw the line when it comes to professionalism). My patience is still intact though it's wafer thin. Try my patience next time and I will end up to be the monster yet to be unleashed.

**

I was just glad that I passed my audit module. The only thing that made me happy this week; Apart from the usual happiness that Friday brings. Its been a helluva week I tell you. A day in the stressful office is like a week in a normal happy office. Not discounting the fact that I am doing a five-man job!