So it starts...
Like a pee that is about to burst for a long one hour wait and you can't do a thing cos your in a travel bus. It's has been a long time since I've pass upon the burden of bad bad thoughts to my blog. It's about time I unleash it.
The struggling accountant
I know I shouldn't complain but I really should. I feel I am worth some good fortune but I'm working as an accountant for a dodgy company. Talk about interrelated entities that is owned by a common middle eastern mafia. I'm cleaning up the mess the previous account... err bookkeeper has done.
The problem with being a former external auditor is that you'll fussed about the accounting process. Every bit of aspect lacks controls. And you seem to be too much overwhelmed with what's on your plate though you have been itching to correct every single thing that is wrong with the company.
To give a bit of details on the work of the struggling accountant, here are my duties:
- Hocus pocus of BAS. Think Excel's 'Goal Seek' to derive the tax payable to ATO.
- Investigate where have all the PCF has gone to. It's like seven grand in the books but no real money in the Director's box!
- Solving the labyrinth of intercompany accounts. OMG! This has been the worst ever. A pays for B's goods but B records his own sale. A never records A's transaction with B. Then A records gazillion transaction with customers but never gets paid cos C gets all the money, where C never books A-C transaction and claims it on his own. And here comes D charging every bit of sales that was supplied by A to cash wherein there is no cash account for D plus the physical money goes to A anyway.
- Data encoder. Tons of invoices gets dumped on my desk but good if it comes as the sale is earned. but it goes to my desk only during +10 after month-end! Just when I have closed my books!
- Suppliers' fury catcher. Ohh... the purchases side. Well, this one is pointless. I have piles of invoices processed but remains unpaid. Suppliers get mad all the time and has threaten not to supply us. Where has all the money gone? Why can't we pay.
- BAS. Payroll tax. Super. Payroll run. This is all fun but then again, where is the money? I have been piling up months and months worth of unpaid taxes.
- E, F and G bookkeeping. More companies! This is nice. They gave me more company to account for.
- And many little details that I can't even fathom why I ever accepted this job.
But come to think of it, I did learn a lot. I have a lot of duties to fulfill particularly cleaning up this mess. Putting up suggestions for better internal controls. And finally stepping up as management accountant as I know this company needs a good financial analysis of where it is going.
The poor rat
Who can ever imagine? that I've been working really hard but won't get paid. How frustrating is that?! The company doesn't have money to pay its employees. Far out! I'm living with every little cents I've got. I was really pitying myself awhile ago cos I just nibbled cheese cos my tummy's getting mad. I'm living in a shared accommodation and got no flights booked for the holidays. I missed on loan repayments and credit cards. Got no money on my accounts and maxed out credit cards. Shesh! Too excited to be Friday and I will sing 'I will survive'!
Ungrateful "friends"
My Eastwood buddies have been dodging my calls for unknown reasons. How fucking hard can it be to let me know what the problem is? They could have called me. Tell me directly what's wrong.
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