Drifting Wood

Overcast this afternoon while I lay on my bed trying to comprehend how it has been more than a year since my last blog entry.

I was controlled by enigmatic dark clouds that drew me under miasma infection that has me stagnated. No words for me to say. No action taken for problems that I don't even know exists.

Many countries had been visited. Either alone, with a friend or two or with my family included. Perhaps that kept me going for a bit. Though it was an escape for the dent that has been afflicted in my soul.

Silence and time both bring me closer to realisation. Coupled with healing and acceptance. Is it time to move on?

A bundle of joy has slowly been nurturing me through these tumultuous times. My frenchie Rodrigo has been the best thing given to me. He takes away the sorrow. It gave me a purpose to fill the void. 

Perhaps I'm ready to take on the next chapter again. Try to rebuild broken remnants of chaotic siege that has befallen unto me. Another set of sorrow is yet to materialise. I know it will inflict solitude but life must go on.

The choices we make as well as the path we embark upon. It is a mystery yet we consciously assent to unknown yearning. Perhaps we take the fall to crawl and slowly learn to stand on a much stronger footing. Life is a driftwood. Sturdy, weakens. Passing many obstacles yet may remain strong depending on its character and how it deals with adversities.

Glacier Ice Hike

A moment in the deep south of Argentina has brought me to Perito Moreno in Patagonia. One of the South American trip highlights.

I started to cull my destination with last minute destinations I would forego. I am happy I let Patagonia untouched.

The moment I land in El Calafate, I knew I was in to an adventure like no other. The cold freezing climate kissed my cheeks and welcomed me warmly to the uniqueness of Patagonia.

We began an early journey via coach to the port where we will take a cruise to the foot of ice Kingdom that is known as one of the largest glaciers after Antarctica. It was massive endless array of glaciers that welcomed the group as it silently waves back to us to appreciate nature's Best kept secret.

The guide has divided us between Spanish or English speaking groups. I was with French group as majority of tourists have Spanish as their native tongue. And surprisingly no one from USA or UK so it's just me and two lovely french girls. Our guide was literally Messi look-a-like. Or perhaps my brain and eyesight has frosted.

We were given ice braces for our shoes together with walking poles and helmet for the ice hike. Before long we learned how to hike up like prisoners in Les Miserables opening act. We marched our way up the mountain. The steps began to change from frosted ice to pure blocks of ice. When we reached the summit. The view was phenomenal. Various hues of blue can be seen deep within the glaciers. It tells how long the ice were frozen. There multiple thunder roars heard from afar. It is a phenomena of ice calving, which occurs s lot as climate globally is changing. It was a good few hours of hiking and to celebrate it we did a vodka toast with some Argentina chocolate to conclude the hike.

We went to viewing deck to see the many angles of Perito Moreno. There was like a huge cave when I zoomed my camera. I'm sure either a Yeti or White Walker lives there. Or the Night King himself.

The key takeaways from this trip is that money can be earned, saved and buy us material things. But in my age where I started to develop few knee or foot problems. I was lucky to have seen it in the prime of my life (sort of). It would be foolish for me to save money and decide to do it and too old to have done these activities. Travel does bring us to a special place that is stored in our memory coupled with how we discern some miniscule navigation that ultimately brings us to something that may bring us back to that nostalgia. We create memories worth that are priceless moments.

Peruvian Magic

When I think of travelling to Peru. I quickly think of Machu Picchu, Alpacas and the best cuisine in the world.

After spending a little more than a week, I validated the notions I had and more. Lima is filled with unique experiences from the depth of their catholic faith and traditions they hold dear. To the zeast of bring soul in their food. In fact, just by observing the locals go on their festivities - I am at awe with the way they live their lives.

I have drawn many emotions along this journey - from pain, frustration and the feeling of desolate lost hope. To triumph, redemption and realisations. It is not all glam and glitz you see in instagtam posts. You have to earn it especiallt the Inca Trail. From getting it booked in advance to actually experiencing first hand the ups and downs of the journey literally and figuratively.

Emoticons

Remembering this moment that I have felt a rush of emotions from anticipation, anxiety, happiness, excitement, frustration, despair, loneliness, solitude, renewed hope, nothingness, tough exterior. Confidence. Back to my normal self.

I have been around many cities in the past 2.5 weeks that hardened my heart. Travelling solo you build wall around you. And now that I felt vulnerable. It was risky and I was left fragile.

All was not lost. Lessons were learned. I evolve. I live to get a better version of myself.

🙂‍↔️😌🥹😐😑🫥😶😶‍🌫️🥴😵😵‍💫🧐😕🫤🥹🫣😊😉🤗🙃🙂

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I wasn't sure why I felt so disengaged. Was I just jet-lagged? No appetite at all. Anxiety kicks in. And I just slept as I painstakingly trying to ignore what I am going through (not that I know exactly). I woke up few minutes before midnight. And gathered my remaining ounce of inspiration. I prepared my bags for tomorrow's flight.

Maybe I am not cut out anymore to this travel style. Ageing does seek a more sophisticated but relaxed travel. I think that was the main reason I was feeling disengaged from my reality.

I have to remind that the focus is Myself! Everything else doesn't matter. Noise. Distraction.

And I hop to my uber. See you soon Cusco.

Ode to Dolores the Witch

Never had I ever experienced the harshest person in my professional history. After the longest internal deliberation I evoke the natural flow of universe's energy to take the revenge for the unfair disposition I had experience recently. I vow not take action but let karma take back what is due to me. Someday the wheels will turn and the circle back to what is just. 

2024 +1

Year passed and this was the year all my plans come to fruition. Been years in the making. It has been a hard cross to bear. I am getting by day by day. A year to transition to something unknown.

All I know is I am walking blindfolded with torch in my hand. Using my senses to guide me through a place I should be. 

+1 would be a hopeful time. Yearning for something purposeful. I will find my Ikigai.