rondz.tk

Eliminating Stress Marks

2011-12-14T10:41:00.001+11:00

Per my photo below, it is evident how stressed I have become for the past weeks. Ultimately this last few days as I cram through my exam review. On top of that I will be leaving for Manila tomorrow.

I just hope this patch gel really works to eliminate my stress mark!

Fix me

2011-12-11T21:52:00.001+11:00

The house is so quiet. It's raining once again. I've never felt this sad. I don't know what's bothering me. Maybe my upcoming exams. Or maybe the stress at work. I couldn't even feel that in matter of days, I will be flying off to my home.

Excitement will commence once I finish my work tomorrow. That is certain! I am not frightened with this module, maybe because its different. All other modules have strict standard, laws and regulation whilst MAA is purely on how you analyse the business and using your judgement to get the most out of a given situation.

If only I can apply all these decision-making tools into my life. If only I have the decision-making at work. All constraints are pulling me down into deep sadness. If only I can fix me.

Oh well, this will soon be finished. And I will enjoy my well-deserved holiday! Christmas with my family is the only anticipation that will reverse the misery out of me.

The Sun is UP!

2011-11-27T19:38:00.001+11:00

It has risen like a big hope in desperate situation. I surely know that it wouldn't abandon me in times of frailty. As expected, this coming week is another challenge as my CFO would say. The transition will be tough but I am always hopeful that I shall surpass difficulties that may rest upon me.

I am working with Taste effective tomorrow. Though its a brand new company its management is familiar cos its a sister company of my old job. Wish me luck! I need to prove something again.

Simple things that mean a lot

2011-11-24T23:07:00.001+11:00

There are a lot of things to be thankful for. The greatest of them all is my survival in a sinking corporate world. It has been one helluva a drama in the office lately. But still I am happy that they still believe in me. And I continue to remain—a valued asset.

When we start to count our blessings, we realise how lucky we are. Despite all the hardships, we know something out there is worth suffering for. And there are reasons behind those unfortunate adversities.

I quote James Buckham: "Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before".

I am seeing a brighter 2012! Yes, I always considered myself optimistic. Although the year has not yet passed, 2011 have been a bit shaky. However I grow and become a stronger person.

I was reading through my past blogs awhile ago with Aiza. And I can't help but realise how time flies so fast. Nostalgic past and happy memories that strengthens my belief that I have been at worst scenarios, I survived. I have a lot of things to hold on to. God always provides a safety cushion whenever we feel a need. There is always a parachute that magically appears in every desperate situation.

... and I am eternally grateful for that.

Rainy days are here again

2011-11-23T22:23:00.001+11:00

The past few weeks had been a total hell. The weather is gloomy and now it is raining profusely. Normally rain can be seen as a blessing cos it can bring abundance. However, this time around I say it's destructive. I see how it constantly poured and how it flooded through my path. Moreso for people who are helpless and doesn't have a refuge under the rain. I just hate this situation, where I can't do anything.

I've seen how it can start with a drizzle and then stop for a minute. Then after few pauses rain will be nonstop. It is just emotionally draining. And its unpredictability is just too outrageous .

It is tough and being strong, equipped with a sturdy giant umbrella somehow keeps me from being drenched. But still I feel its effect.

I've seen the weather forecast and here it is...

Come Monday, it will ease up and a brighter week ahead. So I keep my fingers crossed.

Negative Forces

2011-10-29T19:06:00.008+11:00

One thing to battle against a company undergoing VA is the bad omen. It can come from staff, franchisees, suppliers and even executives.

Nothing beats angry suppliers, so I thought. Then my colleagues (who I can only imagine being possessed by evil spirits) come to you with a raised voice accusing you of this and that (i would love to spill it but still, I have to draw the line when it comes to professionalism). My patience is still intact though it's wafer thin. Try my patience next time and I will end up to be the monster yet to be unleashed.

**

I was just glad that I passed my audit module. The only thing that made me happy this week; Apart from the usual happiness that Friday brings. Its been a helluva week I tell you. A day in the stressful office is like a week in a normal happy office. Not discounting the fact that I am doing a five-man job!

Blame it on the NOISE!

2011-10-20T01:46:00.001+11:00

Two nights in a row and I'm wide awake. Stressed. And I am restless. Blame it on the noise - literally every corner of my room!

I just want to find peace, even for 15 minutes so I can ignite the sleeping mode... :C

Another Hurdle I Must Endure

2011-10-04T23:18:00.001+11:00

Yes, the rumours are true. Strathfield went into another wave of Administration earlier today. Executives dropped the bomb first thing this morning. All worried, I can feel tension is building up. Yet we were reassured that it wouldn't impact on our employment.

I asked myself whether this is the path I was meant to be dealing with. How come all misfortunes come my way?

32 months ago, I felt the same fate but it was to do with economic recession that forced management to let go of its "valued assets". Now I face uncertainty once again. However, this time I am confident in saying that they would definitely would want to keep me. But the question is - would I endure yet another hurdle?

I've come up with a preliminary course of action. Test the waters. Then decide if we will abort the ship.

All is uncertain but I am confident that God will be there by my side to make the right decision.

Random Thoughts on a Tuesday Arvo

2011-09-27T16:53:00.001+10:00

It's 4:36p.m. and I am absolutely bored at work.

Let's talk about anything under the bright shiny sun!

~ I wish that it would turnout to be a good investment. Now I can honestly say that its not pouring through and thereby nourishing it. Just tiny droplets but can still make the plant grow. I just hope it will open up more and give abundance in the plants life.

~ Half-way finish with CA and I just hope for the best. Not sure about the future I have with this company. I know that the Executives care for me a lot. They value and trust my judgement - one thing that gravitates me back to Strathfield's force.

~ I still have to organise shipping of my old personal effects back to Manila. And probably need to buy some small things to fill the BB 2011.

~ I have yet to look for the lost treasures. The list seems to be growing and growing. Maybe sign of ageing or just my obvious reckless personality. I need the iPad2 connector, I need my old memory card, I need my CBC and GEC to utilise unused facilities.

~ I am proud to announce to all of you that the queen of HRHRM has given Royal Assent to terminate certain facilities. I have provided her with a list and recommendation based on the risk profile. She even commended my work as of high quality and sound judgement. Well, it is one way in building competence and reputation with her.

~ Further project assigned by the queen is analysis on LTCC's and maturity of BL's, with the immediate objective of raising capital to fund travel appropriations for next financial year.

~ We also had an informal strategic discussions on Hibiscus Royal. It is something that is planned but likelihood is still remote at this stage. I am speculating 2020's as the date of its inception.

~ Finally its 4:59p.m. only a minute from the theoretical dismissal. But obviously I have to stay until everyone goes home. Part of my allegiance to hard-work and leadership indicator (?) but not really.

the reckoning

2011-09-25T23:02:00.004+10:00

all is clear. it's for the better. stop stupidity and dwell on insurgency that is the pressing matter at hand. hence, corrective action in place. i just hope and pray that everything will fall into right places this time.

... i will try harder.

How it all went?

2011-09-25T22:56:00.002+10:00

Basically I am still recovering from the aftershock of the exams. To be honest, it all went pretty well. I guess studying during the last 5 days before the exam paid off. Good that its been raining too to at least keep me away from doing something else in the City. One bad thing about living near civilisation.

One thing I learned from all this is not to cram again. Best to review each unit in detail as you it comes along in focus session discussions. Hence, I promise to maintain critical file from day one.

Other things - I am trying to focus on risk assessment of my own credit file. This time around I vowed to stay away from capital purchases. Means I'm growing isn't it? Like today, I manage to buy $13 shoes and serves practical purpose since my feet were all drenched. Blame it to the stupid rain.

Finished True Blood S4 too but its all too disturbing. The plot thickens and now I can't wait for S5. I reckon, I would be reading the next instalment on Sookie Stackhouse book 5.

Lets call it an early night, for tomorrow's going to be a good and nice sunny day. I hope.

New Chapters of My Life

2011-09-10T22:52:00.004+10:00

Not that I find blogging obsolete but the urge to post an entry or two seems to be unappealing anymore. Blame it to Facebook's status messages or Twitter, I reckon. It defies the free-flowing mind to capture life as it passes by.

[ Disclaimer: If you can't really decipher the gist of this blog post, better skip it now. I really think that this post can be too personal for me and you might not pick up anything from it ]

But recently or should I say today, I got my keyboards for $75. It's wireless and somehow I have to justify its use (for my iPad). But I know you can't put price tag to the output this keyboard brings. And yes, I am officially blogging via iPad. Technology can be so advanced and complex but so long as you know how to use it right, it brings the desired fruit that you would want to reap.

As months pass by, a lot has changed. I believe that I owe blogger a lot, as there are stories yet to be told.

A month after my last post. Something big happened. It changed me for the better. Often times I have never thought that this would be possible but destiny arrived. Love is simple yet can be so complex when not dealt with a mature mind. Growing up nourishes it with understanding and compromise. Past gives us an idea on how to live the present and plan for the future.

I finished my first CA module. And yes it is really competitive. I have to take a little breather after the first one. I decided to have my much deserved holiday to the US. Somehow visit my relatives and friends. The trip was surreal. I never imagined that the Bonus clan will be so accommodating that I think I left my heart in San Francisco. Most especially the I <3 NY is so true. Hmm... and what happens in Vegas should definitely stay in Vegas. Nuff said you know what I'm talking about.

Its September, finally the season has changed. Spring gives another hope that brings us closer to what we want in life. And it adds another year of wisdom. I turned 29 and I don't really want to admit it but sometimes I can't help but wonder how I lived my 20s. Did I enjoy my youth? Was I too focused at work? Did I not achieve what I wanted? So many questions yet the answer is so simple. I have lived my 8 years in my 20's as what I expected it to be - 'No regrets'. Simply because if you start questioning and regreting any moment in your life, then you have just wasted it without anything to takeaway. Yes, all of us would have done something foolish, stupid or just plain wrong but we learn from them. We carry them at our back and look back when we get a chance and laugh about it. We do not live by constantly whining and regretting it. But we bring it because it gives us courage that we have surpassed the trials and mischief.

At 29, I will work hard in building the foundation in my career. So when I step into thirty-hood I am ready to build an empire that I can enjoy when I retire and settle down. Everything that happens in life can be a cliche. But I believe that we experience them so we can grow in wisdom and confidence to build a stable life.

That's all for now and you have to pardon my thoughts as they are all around jumping around like fire crackers. I haven't done this in a long time so I really don't know how to contain it, like a popcorn in a bag popping in the microwave. Funny how I get this kind of thoughts. Seems preposterous and even pointless, you can say. But for me its meaningful. I've reread it and it exudes in perfection. Captured crystal clear just the way I wanted it to be (confusing and profound). It's as good as it gets maybe better next time around.

Do I Make You Proud?

2011-01-27T16:44:00.002+11:00

The blazing moment from yesterday still lingers on my mind. I know I have to write this thought otherwise it would be bugging me that I owe something to my Notes and/or Blogger. It is a milestone achieved and has to be documented.

To be given this opportunity to stand there amongst the crowd is an ultimate dream. My heart melted as I hear my voice. Half-minute of reshuffling photos and mumbled words that summarised my entire life here in Australia.

The vessel that carried the newly conferred Australians is called ‘Tu Du’. It is a Vietnamese boat that went from Saigon to Darwin to take refugees safely in Australia.

Sitting there as I waited for half an hour before they presented us to the crowd - I began to wonder what my life would have been if I decided to stay in Manila. Yes, I would be with my Family. Possibly still working with my previous employer and bounded by loyalty that would entirely define my life in a different colour tone.

This had me thinking that the choices we make may not always correspond to what we wanted to achieve. Somehow there is an element of fate that carries us in reaching destiny. And later on we accept it and realise that somewhere along the road everything is hodge-podge of suffering-learning; battle-triumph and realisation-inspiration.

Few seconds then I saw the crowd, we began to stand up. Mixed emotions, really. I began to feel teary-eyed. It was the perfect moment as we were drawn closer to them. More inspiring was the angelic sound of Gondwana singing ‘Do I Make You Proud’. I did waived my flag with pride. Proud of where I came from and be brought up by a good and respectable family. Friends that have been supporting me that became my family here in Australia. I am thankful beyond words for shaping and cultivating me.

I stayed with my closest friends for cocktails in Sydney Convention Centre as invited by NSW Premier herself. The night concluded with the Spectacular fireworks which danced with the music of Sydney Music Orchestra.

Indeed, an unforgettable moment.

and it started to pick up! bits by bits.

2010-11-24T19:45:00.011+11:00

Two years ago, my dreams were shattered and I've got nothing to hold on to except for friends and families at my back. My career path was on the verge of collapse. and so much more emotions paired with it that made me despondent. Now that I'm picking up I see that I'm getting there. Still aligned with what I dream to become one day.

I realised a great deal through this whole ordeal. I know that I just have to carry myself with faith and dignity. Temporarily migrate to a world I know would nurture my fragile heart and soul. I did my own version of Eat. Pray. Love. I become whole again but still fragile.

I struggled so much more that I know this time... I know how it is to fall down without any defences available for me to shield on. But I learnt what I needed in the future. I establish plans on how to achieve it. Though I am not yet on my destination and outcome might still be far; Its good to know that I can see positive results. Bits by bits I am getting there.

I realised that no matter how long it will take me, I shall get to the Paradis parfumé and that's all that matters. Now I thank Him for strength He continuously gives me. Call it luck, chances but I know this is grace from God. Finally I learn to appreciate each blessings I get, no matter how small. I know I wouldn't achieve any of these without prayers. I am thankful for what I have now. Each small things in my life. And continue to live for the moment.

And this is the best Christmas present yet to be received.

The Bright New Torch

2010-10-29T17:48:00.007+11:00

It was all too sudden, I know. The next thing I know I have more than I could wish for. I hope the new Torch will shine brightly and its light won't fade away soon.

The best thing I've got and all features are just too amazing. Will say more in a bit. Am just killing time for my tax class. But bottom line is that me is enormously happy. For a techy guy this has it all. Design meets functionality and perfect platform.

I know i4 is much better but in my opinion this is the best!

And just like the Olympic Torch, my BBT served as the light in the opening of Westfield Sydney :)

me holding the torch!

the new westfield sydney

Qlfd Strine, I am.

2010-10-26T15:08:00.009+11:00

Good vibes just keep on coming. Forget about the slight mishaps. Thinking about what's been happening this past few days/weeks everything seems to be falling where it should be.

As part of my fourth anniversary in Sydney, I have compiled a collage of photos of my Australian adventure.

I began today waiting for my citizenship test. Sat down at Gloria Jeans killing time and reading through this... And I learned a lot. By heart.

And ever since I discovered how to tether my BB to my mac, I enjoy the privilege of internet anywhere with 3G BB. Googled some current updates on politics, legislation and some economic issues. Just to keep me updated. Recently I've been so hooked with Australian news. Thanks to Twitter and Yahoo!7. Also we are obliged to read Financial Review every now and then. Often I get left out in class discussion if I didn't read what's new on the news.

Cut long story short, I was 20 minutes early for my citizenship appointment. The lady who interviewed me is way cool. The other interviewer is a bit of a snob. I mean all of them should conform to a professional manner in dealing with candidates but I think they were too stiff. Mine was a fabulous lady. We chatted about how wonderful weather was and asked about living in the City. After 15 minutes of checking my documents, she gave me a piece of paper and told me to take the test. I know I am well prepared for the test although I only started reading the handbook last night. I have 2 unsure answers but I ended up getting 19 out of 20. Not bad. 5 mins out of 45 mins allotted. It was quick and easy I should say.

Timeframe is about 3 months before the pledge. But as far as I'm concerned, I am now qualified. And pledge is just a formality.

Think about it, I was staying in Sydney for 4 years and never realised I would finally settle here. I thought of just gaining experience but here I am. Residing and living in a spectacular cosmopolitan and multicultural dynamic land.

Blog Action Day: El Agua es Vida

2010-10-16T14:07:00.004+11:00

Bit late for this entry as it should have been posted yesterday.

Firstly let me warn you that water is our most precious natural resource. Misuse of it and negligence will lead to problems like drought and indirectly affect climate change.

Drought typically happens in Australia, particularly in South East of Australia. The agricultural sector suffers and decline in rural productivity will eventually felt by the nation as it impacts the economy. It also impacts the quality of water and it increases the risk of bush fires and dust storms.

We also cannot not mention the climate change and what its doing to our environment as each of us has our own social environmental responsibilities to upheld. Otherwise we will see the deterioration of our natural ecosystem balance. And it would not be long 'til we suffer the consequences. We can already somehow see how it slowly affects our climate, i.e., global warming.

I've experienced abundance and scarcity. Back in Manila we use the tabo system (dipper to fix usage of water) and recycle water like use water to wash plates and eventually use it to water plants. There was also a time when we have to go all the way to Camella (nearby neighbourhood) just to get our share of water.

My message is let us do our share in conserving water. Report leaking faucet. Be mindful that we don't abuse its usage. Use machines like laundry and dishwashing effectively.

Just because we have it doesn't mean we are allowed to waste it. Remember water is life.

One Step Closer

2010-10-16T13:57:00.004+11:00

Feels like I just graduated from High School. Just finished my fourth year here in Sydney. Technically its not cos I flew around a bit but basically as far as my application for citizenship is concerned, I'm eligible and that's all that matters I reckon.

So much to hope for. The rebuilding of my career and self has just begun. It won't take a year, maybe 2-3 years to establish an empire and be where I wanna be. But citizenship is a start.

Next Tuesday will be my citizenship appointment and test. but before that I have to struggle with month-end at work and another Tax exam. I always dreaded getting the result of my exams. Bit paranoid but then I realise I got the top mark.

Everything goes well now. I am just living the moment. Climbing the steepest stairs to freedom and life. Soon I will be there and triumph will be all around me.

^Bad Penguin^

2010-10-05T22:44:00.003+11:00

Just like Batman's archenemy. Penguin is an eccentric criminal mastermind known for his shady business dealings. I can just associate her to this super villain.

She doesn't have the decency to know what is within the norm. Plain insensitive if you may. Just don't want to dwell so much on her. But all I can say, what she did. It ended my respect and friendship with her. She's just a nasty old penguin.

chaos without music

2010-10-05T16:24:00.003+11:00

when music has been taken out of your daily walks you cannot imagine how horrible it can be. the noise and reality becomes more apparent to the naked eye. thats how our senses are intertwined.

without music life can be so bland and boring. the cost i have to pay for my foolishness. its a pain but i hope the beat will come back soon. renewed or found.

Note to Self: Grow UP and Stop Annoying People

2010-10-01T16:41:00.005+10:00

There are things that you never realise that you've done wrong until you heard it from someone. What makes it more disturbing is when you hear it indirectly. I tend to rationalise that the way I normally behave is influenced by how I interact socially. I know for a fact that I've been quite reserved when I am not with the people am not comfortable with. Social space has always been an issue I believe. I rarely trust any random stranger to just spill out the real me.

Personality clashes far too many times and never meant to annoy closest of friends. The way they react on such occasions can be devastating. As my intentions are to please everyone and make them smile. I guess I have to put a fencing barrier and position myself properly.

Just an open note to self. Not in anyway directed to anyone. I probably would think the person won't read this anyway.

Two cents for drawing this up and making my Friday send-off to long-weekend much problematic. I know I just need a drink or two and this will fly-off like a floating balloon.

i seem to have lost my key

2010-09-30T23:30:00.003+10:00

where's the damn keys? So many keys are jumbled in this shoe box that i can't open this fragile item. this has been locked up not so long ago. i shouldn't have secured it but then again it was too delicate to expose on such an early stage.

i don't regret securely holding it and keeping the locked box under my bed. i know for one, it can always be found. but never did i realise that such a long time i would lose the key. the only key that can open something very dear to me that would define the very me. i'm thinking: should i force it open? i reckon not! for it would destroy the outer-being of the secured device.

it is now my duty to tidy up every aspect of the room. the missing key is just around. can be anywhere inside. i'm sure. i just need time to find it... or maybe wait for it to appear.

weird enough. sometimes when u least expect it. and not even looking for it. for some unexplainable force of nature, it will magically present itself.

random thoughts

2010-09-29T00:00:00.006+10:00

overindulgent, not so good
subconscious always tell me that i shouldn't be carried away too much. but the irony is the more we deprive ourself with something always ends up with doing it again and again. it is repugnant, i believe. some spare buffer wouldn't hurt. sacrifice and discipline are key things I should practice.

another one is influences can play a vital role in pushing u to the limit. it can be hazardous but then again - will power - can be a key driver to avoid this behaviour.

pinoy pride
i know it is already overrated. but i just discovered Charice's enormous talent. i confess that i've been watching her success story every night before i sleep. one after another, until it diversified to other great pinoy talents we have. i.e., Arnel Pineda, PGT finalists, etc. makes me more proud! esp. when I saw Glee last week. she never fails to give me goosebumps! too much power and soul when she sings.

unusually quiet office bores me
office without the big bosses makes it unusually quiet and boring! i've been missing for two days last week. blame it on the stupid weather that gave me colds. but without our dear CEO and CFO - everything is quiet. i have to literally look for something interesting to do. and this brought twittering back to my current vocabulary.

emotionally ready and eager to speed up the 'Project'
only a few knows about the main 'Project', maybe its feasible. but time and chance play vital role in achieving this. inasmuch as I want to be optimistic, I guess it won't happen as expected.

handful of dreams when the 'Big Bang Theory' crystallizes. its free to dream and it gives me something to look forward to. although I reckon it won't happen yet. maybe I'm wrong. but be happy to be proven wrong. at any instance if it really happens then I will be the happiest man on Earth... I mean in Australia. cos lots of people will be happier back home.

to bring back the love... of reading
been too preoccupied from reading heaps of books stacked in my dusty shelf. but lately, I started reading again. only because beach + sun = lay down and read. i hope the passion for reading comes back to me soon. can't wait to shop for new and exciting reads. Glebe bookstores have been calling me badly. like the mannequins in the Shopaholic movie..

I honestly have gazillion thoughts to put in here but I will park them here in my terrible memory bank. lets see if I can still recall by tomorrow

Throw a Rock ~ and Break the Dry Ice

2010-09-27T23:17:00.006+10:00

perhaps this is the quietest i've ever been
its dry and i can't explain it any simpler.
the once colourful and fruitful days have died down
not that i don't do anything out of the ordinary
but lets just say creativity's all been gone.

days pass by so fast, also u just realise how quick season changes
and i can't feel i am living it, i want to pause this routinary boring moments
and live it according to my dreams and how i wanted it to be - in an orderly fashion.
but reality is: it takes supernatural strength, ability &inspiration to make things happen
and of course the right time - when the universe conspires with you.

i know its all mushy and seems like i'm going nowhere with this
but this is how i feel. that i am revolving through dreams but going round the circles
i need a force that will adversely change my direction
it can be a gamble, risking it to a different way
but at least life gets bit exciting and it complements my desires.

The B word

2010-09-17T14:00:00.002+10:00

Everything becomes B!

First one I reckon is busy. Lately I've got no time to put thoughts into words. Consumed by chaos but its riveting and more often it can be boring too. You just have to know how to deal with it. With a sense of creativity.

Secondly, Bally has been the theme. I just love this brand now. The red stripe is just too classy.

How about Big? Yeah, bigger tummy! Caused by consumption of Beer and Bacon! haha Now I'm just mumbling anything that starts with B.

At the end I just want to B more organised. Take me out of this chaotic world I'm living in. Sort is such a hard verb to do. I need my obsessive-compulsive mode to return to an orderly peaceful rondzkee world.

Untitled

2010-08-10T22:19:00.007+10:00

A lot has happened since the last time I put an entry to this blog. For one, I started my uni. I guess small status messages on FB would show that I felt the excitement. Feels few years younger hanging out at UTS. Though I haven't had the time to literally open my legislation books and start memorising sections of the law, I felt a certain good vibes - that I am on the right track.

Last weekend I was skiing at Perisher Blue. Flashback happened, I know it was a misfortune but that will always keep me reminded to put my ego down. Stay focus and work within my means.

These past few weeks had been hell. Always so much to do at work but then again, the performance shows how efficient my team did. Hope all goes well and we shall meet our deadlines.

A week before I had splendid time at Oxland. Not to mention good vibes again. But not to keep my hopes up. I should know better. Don't want to create frustration and whine about it later on.

**Might be worth saying that I am losing track of what I'm writing here. But thoughts just pop out whenever.

Lodge my tax return by the way. It was ages ago but just wanted to say that I had a good one. The very first of its kind, I want to welcome Brooks to the crowd. Feels overwhelming at first. And I take it with pride. Lets just say that I have this enormous power and glamour whenever I have 'em.

Then again, I got a new red awesome sunnies. A way to welcome Spring, I guess. It will not be long and I will turn another year on my age calendar. Just a number, yeah yeah! but it always been a clear reminder asking me if I have reached what I wanted at this spectrum. All I can say is... I'm getting there. Soon enough, it will be another year to celebrate. Look back and smile. As the sun always shine back at us. Letting us know that the sweat it produces can be worth it. After all the nice weather is yet to come.

Its June and its winter!

2010-06-28T00:28:00.002+10:00

Passing through the chilly winds, I feel desperate to seek shelter. Temporarily on the hands of a cafe. I rummaged through the magazines and newspapers available but nothing seems to interest me. Fifa is all around the harbour and it keeps me entertained besides work. It all goes routinary at some point. But still I continue to seek for something interesting. But nothing satisfies my urges. The lowest pit that I've submerged into, I need to go out and make it happen.

Analysing Me

2010-06-08T23:29:00.007+10:00

Finally, I've had the courage to remove the cobwebs that has been blocking me for a week. And to top that, t'was raining so hard and like my housemate feels - I am just plain miserable.

Now that little by little, we get some sunshine. Let's bring on the activities. Let's go live life as it should be lived.

I know I owe so much stories to tell. Blame it on the poetic influences I've been flooding my blog recently...

Chapter 1: Pyrmont Life
One can never find a perfect place to be, but I guess I found it. Can you imagine that I'm walking to my office every single day. Walking to cafés, cheap uni resto's, fish market. Walking to the City. Pub, Clubs, Night life. Shopping, malls. Endless possibilities. Only thing missing is the beach, but who cares really. At least I'm Tsunami-safe. haha

One can never ask for a perfect housemate. Sandra's the coolest. Teaches me how to clean. Has the energy to uplift my boring days. Appreciates simple things like when I cook (which seldom happens, really) or clean my godforsaken toilet. Teaches me how to do proper laundry. Not just the throw and wait technique I've learned on my own. Also taught me how to do proper ironing. And most of all, she can endure my mood swings. Or maybe I haven't had one cos she's just plain amazing.

Chapter 2: My well-deserved 13-day Holiday
I honestly thought I wouldn't be allowed to go on a holiday considering I barely reached my third month on this new work. I felt extremely lucky that they allow me to get negative leaves. I guess I have to thank my charm as well and I did get approval from the CEO herself.

Holiday was a rush. Finally, I've seen my family. Spent time with them and though it pains me to leave after 8 days, my heart remains and I will always be going back whenever possible. I hate to say that I do have regrets on decisions I made but it's all for the best. I know they understand that I am still looking for a purpose that's why I still reside in Australia.

Part of my holiday was to also search for a missing piece of life-long puzzle I am trying to recreate. I thought I have found it. Even brought it back in Sydney for me to know if it will eventually fit. But sadly I was wrong. Felt agitated. But still I wouldn't say that I completely wasted my time in search of that piece. Sometimes you search for gold knowing that it glitters and might good look on your masterpiece. But later in life, you will realise that discovering the very essence of the puzzle will be the key in finding the suitable piece.

That short stay was the longest. This paradox help me value every second of my stay home. Frustrations were soon compensated with the quality time spent with my loved ones. Nothing beats that.

Singapore was another venue. Relax. Shop. Eat. Though coupled with budget constraints. It feels refreshing how little money spent can bring happiness to a rehabilitated me. How I constrict myself with limited spending. This time I value every cent. But still little things can be valuable when shared with the bestest friends who's there with you on your escapades.

Chapter 3: Storm and the Rainbow
Upon my return, I was beset with deep sorrow as I adjust myself from the humidity and Summer's heat from the tropics to the winter greeting upon my arrival in Sydney. To make it worse, it was raining all throughout the week. Honestly, I was not at my best during those period of time. Apart from restrained physical activities. My mood was at an all time low. Stuffed with work from office. Feels empty cos it seems that everything seems to be falling apart.

But at the end of every storm, a rainbow always comes along. The beauty after every destruction is unexplainable. Looking outside the vast Sydney skyscrapers stood a magnificent rainbow, showing off all its radiant colours. And I believed that its a sign to finally go on with life. Continue reaching for the dreams that was temporarily taken aside.

On this journey, I want to thank Roi and Sandra for being there when I needed them. You guys rocked my world!

Chapter 4: Pushing the 'Play' button
I muster the courage and conviction to achieve some goals. I will live each day aspiring for an outcome. Time to finally push the 'play' button once again. Live life with zest. And on my conquest. I shall say that this with pride: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith".

Shine On Me

2010-06-05T12:31:00.002+10:00

The storm had passed. The sky is much clearer. All the pouring rain had finally stopped. Just for a moment, I want to see the sun shine on me again. I just want to feel spellbound into eternity of the paradise perfume. One day, it will.

Paradis parfumé

2010-06-03T23:52:00.002+10:00

Comme vous êtes loin, paradis parfumé,
Où sous un clair azur tout n'est qu'amour et joie,
Où tout ce que l'on aime est digne d'être aimé,
Où dans la volupté pure le coeur se noie!
Comme vous êtes loin, paradis parfumé!

(taken from Moesta et Errabunda by Charles Baudelaire)

* * * * *
and thats where I want to be.
waiting for someone to take me there.

Troubled Traveller

2010-06-02T22:47:00.003+10:00

Ticking of the clock, time stood still
Seems ages and it doesn't want to reveal
Let me be preoccupied, I need a diversion
I just dont want to deal with it, I guess.

Riveting as this phase can be
It is coupled with risks and uncertainties
Longing for something that might not exist
I stand in crossroads not knowing where to go.

I finally decided to wait for a bus
and i will take the backseat, I need serenity.
Then sleep in the mystifying aura of melancholy
Drive me to the place where I am destined to be.

Si Tu Me Olvidas

2010-06-02T22:43:00.001+10:00

Quiero que sepas
una cosa.

Tú sabes cómo es esto:
si miro
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento otoño en mi ventana,
si toco
junto al fuego
la impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la leña,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe:
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran pequeños barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.

Ahora bien,
si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejaré de quererte poco a poco.

Si de pronto
me olvidas
no me busques,
que ya te habré olvidado.

Si consideras largo y loco
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del corazón en que tengo raíces,
piensa
que en esa día,
a esa hora
levantaré los brazos
y saldrán mis raíces
a buscar otra tierra.

Pero
si cada día,
cada hora,
sientes que a mí estás destinada
con dulzura implacable,
si cada día sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor mío, ay mía,
en mí todo ese fuego se repite,
en mí nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,
y mientras vivas estará en tus brazos
sin salir de los míos.

- Pablo Neruda

* * * * *
The magnificence of this poem captured me completely. And I shall wait and hope that forgotten is a forgotten word.

the happy heart

2010-05-27T02:57:00.002+10:00

The heart is beautiful
And holds worlds of wonder
And loves endlessly
The heart is beautiful
It beats as it gets
closer to its dreams
Your heart is dear
Hold onto your heart
Feel it lift you
from your sorrows
Be happy today
and tomorrow.

-Morgan Green

the rain and the power of the majestic sun

2010-05-26T04:10:00.004+10:00

though it seems rainy and uncertain. underneath the heavy clouds there's always a sun that will shine its way through. thank you mister sun, its much clearer now. and i shall wait for fate to bring the one i've been waiting for forever.

* * * * * *
great things that happened today:
- had lunch with my mum together with the kids and their yaya;
- had finally bought magic sing cord and now i can pursue my singing career;
- had nice massage at Wensha, damn! money's worth it;
- had seen HCTB movie finally and it was fabulous! LMAO all the time; and most of all
- had ended the night perfectly with hopes and dreams still burning in my heart.

even when it rained and it poured heavily, there's always something good that comes along.

XS.
take back what i said on two earlier blogs. definitely worth it.

last chance

2010-05-25T11:32:00.003+10:00

last day of going out. finally i can join the kids together with my mum. but its raining for crying out loud. still i've got heaps of things i needed to buy. but on second thought. i might not be able to anyway. rather than running out of money when i go to SG. lets just be spontaneous and let it flow. i'll be okay.

tomorrow's my last night in manila. and i should stay at home. so this is it then.

its ticking...

2010-05-24T23:28:00.003+10:00

matters unknown, do we still have time? i cant read it. probably i need to visit my eye doctor. few days to go. i hate to leave things hanging. if i can unfeel what i feel. i would do it. sometimes not sure if its worth taking the risk. you go on a path where each shade becomes unclear, grey and i do ask myself, am i really colourblind? i know its ticking, should i turn it loose? or should i just stop breathing and it would all go away. a predicament that i don't really want to be in. it sucks but maybe fate has brought me here.

the anxious sponge

2010-05-22T22:24:00.004+10:00

sometimes our soul is like a piece of sponge. it longs for something to absorb. i kept mine near a sink with a broken faucet. maybe fate has brought it here. still i am minding that any moment the sink might be flooded and my sponge might be filled with water. i expected it to fully absorb the pouring water. but the faucet seems to ignore the mere presence of the sponge. just lying close within reach. waiting anxiously. bit of moist started to appear on all sides of the sponge. but still it is longing to be fully immersed in the leaking faucet's water.

Humidity makes me "Burst in Flames"

2010-05-20T23:52:00.005+10:00

what is it that makes us shrewd? stupidity just goes under my skin and it so irritates me. vent it out, let it all out. at the end, nothing you can't do about it. accept it and move on.

humidity, partly is to blame. all e-fans on me. I guess flying the whole day made me exhausted and didn't care about mossies or the humidity. but going to SMB in the middle of the afternoon is just plain foolish. I had to endure the bid of sweats in my brow. haven't accomplished anything so far. good luck and the days are counting. 7 more to go, i hate it.

Anticipation and Excitement

2010-05-19T17:20:00.002+10:00

I can't believe that I will be going home after nearly a year. I left Manila still troubled on how I am going to find my way to the direction that would make me happy. It was a struggle and the things that I've been longing to happen did not immediately emerge. It took some time, effort and patience before it slowly materialised.

Now that I'm heading back home for eight short days. I have to make a difference. Inasmuch as I wanted to plan ahead. I would want to remain spontaneous. It differs from the previous times I normally go home. This time I've got limited resources, both time and money. So I shall endeavour to find ways to seek happiness in priceless ways.

I won't deny that I feel this sense of excitement. The feeling is indescribable especially when you were preoccupied with so much things and the day suddenly arrives.

On another note, it was my first time seating on the Upper Deck of SG's A380. Its much better than the Main Deck, simply because its isolated. I was lucky enough to move to a cluster of seats, which was not occupied. Hence, I can sit like I am on business class (without the Champagne, of course).

the irreversible spell

2010-05-08T13:21:00.005+10:00

it dawned on me that the consequences of our actions would impact our lives in subtle ways that affects our aspirations.

the fragments of a broken glass that shattered from an adverse force might later bleed the soles of our sensitive feet.

unmistaken that we thoroughly removed the debris of the wreckage, the unseen could even hurt us more. deeper.

later on we realise what seemingly we should have done.

but its too late as the irreversible spell can harm us in ways we have not fathomed it to be.

An Opportunity?

2010-05-06T22:49:00.002+10:00

It has been two months of working with this new role and can I just tell you that the passion still burns. Given that I have been enjoying my work and still a lot of promises of growth. I just couldn't let it go. Not just yet.

I received an email from my French boss and he's been telling me about a better opportunity. I have to think twice. Yet again the pay is better. On the other hand I have already built my reputation with the current job. I couldn't just abandon ship. And it is against my own professional ethics. Or so I think it is.

But I always remember that opportunities only knock but once. I let my instinct decide for me then. Hence I said I am interested in discussing this job further. Just what 'Blink' taught me. The stupid book has some sense, I reckon. Might as well utilise what I've learned before completely throwing it in the bin.

Let us cross the bridge when we get there. At this point, the first step is to entertain the idea of a brighter road. And I shall completely step out of this gloomy cobwebs of uncertainties.

Sent via BlackBerry® from Vodafone

Complete Freedom

2010-04-24T13:38:00.002+10:00

A breather, really.
Always something that bothers me.
Haunts me every night.
Last night it scared the hell out of me.
What they have done is completely unconscionable.

I've been meaning to completely move.
Resolve discrepancies thats has always been unknown.
Got a new one and i feel better.
More prospects and hoping for a brighter care free banking.
But still got something evil tucked under my sleeves.

echoes from the distant shore

2010-04-21T18:30:00.002+10:00

waves splashing incessantly
as i was sitting on the shore
it pulled me away and i began to drift farther
towards the limitless vast of the sea

not minding what i had left out
i rummaged an unchartered territory
feeling the adventure of this new found being
i have quenched and found the joys from within

mission: self-reconnaissance

2010-04-11T14:07:00.003+10:00

i push harder
it wont budge a bit
the weight i am carrying
i just cant fathom.

i cant believe i am at this place
still floundering helplessly
to make it work
seemingly inconceivable.

all efforts are futile
no logical reason why
no fusion to help me on this struggle
no reassurance. nothing.

untitled ii

2010-04-07T19:11:00.008+10:00

A lot has changed since last time I put an entry to my website. I've been handling the pressure of a new role, managing my PR on both old and new superiors, and of course not missing out on the fun side to keep me sane.

17 days can be that long really but here are some points worth sharing:

Finally settled in Pyrmont, half of my boxes were opened but I am still stressed on where to put the rest of my stuff;

The 'Takeovers' arrived but still beset with hardships as I struggle double jobs. Let's just say its pro-bono service and to uplift my reputation;

Easter break. Time to reflect, revive and unstress.

Finally, I've booked my short-trip home. My uber excitement can't be explained. So my one-week stay in Manila would be the quickest escape from work before the surge of busy season takes place.

Twingeing of my left foot which was caused by a quick zap of chair on my toenail. I kissed it and still praying that my toenail will survive the horrific encounter.

Going back to reading. The mood to read resurfaced when my friend lent me her book. Look me in the Eye is the title. Very touching.

Movie mania is still up. Been watching every Tues still. Latest one i saw was 'Shutter Island'. I like it. Did a review on my FB page.

I lost my Prada sunnies and it sucks. big time.

My creative mind vanished alongside with logic and reason. The obvious evidence is - the first time I posted 'Untitled' after another.

untitled

2010-03-21T19:46:00.002+11:00

i've been longing to make things happen. well, it doesn't take one click of a button nor will it take you just one or two wipes of an oil lamp for everything to come your way. merely believing and dreaming sometimes keep you closer to what you've been aspiring for. a day will come when i look back and say that i did it. i had made it through.

a scar will always be there as a reminder of a bitter past. shaken by the monstrosities of events that led me to crawl up once again. i trod lightly but with conviction. all the confidence that i can muster. keeping myself afloat as massive waves come past me. i will survive yet another hurdle. now i am waiting for the vikings to capture me and take me to a land where dreams come true.

Newbie Me

2010-03-17T21:59:00.002+11:00

Alright so I haven't blogged too often. I should have a good reason not to. For one, I am lazy and there's no excuse. I owe so much to this seven-character site. Depressed times, reading through it can give me strength to carry on.

So what's new?

New Role
I got the contract and signed it today. Its much easier for me. I don't have to do encoding or prepare reconciliations myself. This role gives me a more supervisor function. I have 8 staff with me. Not really directly reporting to me, but I have the chance to review their work.

Also this new role will give me a chance to be involved with the auditors. Something really strange cos I used to be one. I still haven't decided if I will go for the terror mode. Or be myself, good ol' friendly self. It depends I guess on how they will approach me.

New Company
I would like to say that its a New Company but really it isn't because its still part of the whole 'Group'. Not legally though but the major stockholder is. Its also on the same building as before, only the floor changed. And instead of staying in a room, I will be staying within the rest of the staff.

New Apartment / New Housemate
Something I am really looking forward to. For one, I would be staying in Pyrmont, which I really been dreaming of since I arrived. Not technically, because my heart would still want to stay near the beach or most ideally a beach house apartment. I would be living with Madam Sandra, who is a close friend of mine. She's a friend of a friend of a friend. In short my third-degree friend. Niko's colleague back in Phils came to Sydney last year around September. He introduced us to Alvin, which is a close friend of Jhen. Jhen's a good friend of Sandra. So actually its to the fourth-level if you really think about it.

New Salary
I got a salary increase would you believe it? After my boss said that he would put me in the same level of salary as I was doing with Clear Care, I was flustered. Nothing I can do about it, really. I don't have much negotiating power. I really have to get CA/CPA qualification!! Anyway, then the other day he said that he would consider me for XX amount. And I said that is reasonable.

End result, happy happy! This actually justified my moving to a brand new place, near the city. This could increase my saving capability. And finally be able to afford my tuition for uni. I hope so.

~~~~~~~
Let's digress. Yesterday I was so sad that I wasn't able to get my Ben & Jerry's. Oh yes, I was craving for it badly. Blame it on the FB ad. Today, it was out of my mind but while I was walking back home. I thought about the stress I had for this day. I was working on two companies for two weeks now. So I decided to quickly walk my way to the paradise called 'Deli for your Belly'. I was literally running wearing my business clothes just to catch the 6pm cutoff. But before that I have to walk back home, get my wallet and drop some office mails. I ended up at the Deli by 5:59pm only to find that it was already closed. I was so frustrated and settled for the second best, Connoisseurs' Chocolate Obsession. Not bad.

Not afraid to shine...

2010-03-09T19:51:00.004+11:00

This is it. I have been given a very important task and this will be a key role for me in the Commerce World. I had mentioned before that I would be joining a new team in Strathfield. Yes, that's the new company I am working for.

The Financial Controller left and now its is my time to shine. The designation hasn't been formalised yet. But still it keeps me closer to that role, at least.

I will not dwell much on specifics as I have just started today. My thoughts are of course, it feels good to lead once again. I have a team of 6. And I am reviewing processes and improving month-end reports and Appendix 4D. I would then be closely be working with the CFO and of course, the auditors at HY and YE. Might be a challenge cos there's a 360-turn from the culture from Clear Care. But then again, it would be easy for me to deal with them cos I have good inter-personal skills, so i think.

Hooray for me! I can see a brighter future ahead now. Still keeping my fingers crossed.

New role, new life.

2010-03-02T00:49:00.000+11:00

In a weeks time I will be performing internal audit function. Not that I don't really like it. But back in external audit days, I hated business processes. As I venture into the Commerce World, I have been paying particular attention on the control environment. For one, the company I was working for needs an overhaul in its processes. It will be a challenge as I take this role.

Similarly it would be ideal if I take certain precautionary steps in overhauling me. Imposing certain things to make things smoother. I am looking forward to greater responsibilities. I am redefining myself as well.

C'mon. Bring it on. And I am ready to take the plunge.

the last day of summer

2010-02-28T11:10:00.002+11:00

It's too bad that Tsunami warnings are all throughout NSW beaches. They have to close it for safety purposes. I was planning on spending a good sunny Sunday on the beach.

Well, I had a great time with friends at Mardi Gras last night. Too bad we didnt get to hangout longer through the night in Oxford. But at at least we did get a nice dinner at Encasa.

The past few days had been one of the loneliest. I've been alone for most of the time. It has not been compensated with Badminton Saturdays nor with Late Night Thursdays or Cheap Tuesdays. I was just feeling a bit strange. Sometimes it would feel really strange but it happens. Maybe its a male PMS. rofl. And all I wanted is to have a chance to read a book in the beach... I guess its far-fetched idea. Oh well...

The Joy of Cooking

2010-02-15T18:15:00.005+11:00

Lately, I don't eat out anymore. Simply refraining from the costly takeaways or the redundant eateries. I realised that you save more plus cooking takes away stress-related anxieties.

Simple preparation of ingredients, buying it from grocery to chopping, dicing and sauteing make me happy. If only I did this the soonest, then i could have saved heaps of money. Fortnight grocery costs are just $80 compared to $280 takeaways. This could save up to five grand a year. Whoa, that could have been spent on travels!

Hence I cooked Afritada tonight. I will enjoy it while finishing up on my McBealathon. Really sad to see it end though.

To Where You Are / Where Am I

2010-02-14T20:14:00.003+11:00

Again, I am utterly dazzled with Josh Groban's performance on Ally McBeal Season 5. I know I'm still watching it. Actually I am slowly watching every episode as it will end in a matter of few clicks.

An excerpt from the moving song that led me to tears tonight:

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday...

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

~~~
Feeling lost. Not knowing where this life is leading
Sadness; Perhaps the gloomy sky shall cease
I am looking for something that binds me to forever's bliss.

McBealathon

2010-02-02T00:02:00.005+11:00

All I can say is: how come I didn't watch this show fresh on TV?

I know its way back in college days. Probably the first few trimesters I was so enamored with full passion in accounting ("yuck!" as Nelle would put it). Or this was way back in High School, I was too busy aiming for the highest honours.

Watching it day after day and week after week, it comforts me. Knowing that I'm on strike against spending. Against pointless clubbing and drinking. I know I am guilty of complaining how boring life can get, especially when not many friends are present nowadays. Some of them living afar while others can be so distant.

[ There are friends that come and go, and you'd be surprise how vigorous they can get when they needed you. and disappear like a bubble when they don't. ]

"Helping others is never more beneficial than when it's in your own self-interest." Well thats Fishism. I agree but its horse shit.

Going back to this McBealathon. I just feel happy for Ally to be dating and ending up happy with Robert Downy, Jr. (dunno whats his screen name). But it gives me a sense of comfort that Ally is happy walking home side by side with him. This is how far I got, so not really sure if they will end up together though. If you know the answer, then just shush. :X

By the way, the music is just so fabulous. I personally hate Vonda's face but some of her songs are good, inspiring even.

i want to ... but i don't!

2010-01-30T14:50:00.003+11:00

Sunny Saturday, heaps of things I can do. I want to do. But I just don't. I can't explain this state of mind. Something tells me I have to go get a psychiatrist.

I want to...

bike or jog around Glebe and grab my late lunch;
grocery shop;
go out clubbing tonight;
meet up with people.

I perceive that I've used blogs to whinge about all this insanities I feel. Its just that I'm utterly bored but I'm stupidly lazy. But not extremely though cos I've been a good boy and doing my laundry as I type.

Lots of thoughts are going through my head. I want to accomplish these things in few months time:

enrol for further studies;
edit my CV and thinking of doing audit again;
travel alone badly (interstate next weekend, Egypt before my elite krisflyer expires);
go back home for couple of weeks and enjoy the humidity (possibly this March).

but then again, i hope my state of mind goes stable. and at least i can accomplish some of these.

Random Quotes

2010-01-21T18:48:00.002+11:00

“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happiness would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.”

Alishia Southall

The Jarocin House

2010-01-20T22:55:00.006+11:00

I've been living in this shared house for exactly three months now. And its blog-worthy to discuss about how it all goes.

The Characters
Mr. Peru - Awesome guy! He's just in his early 20's but he is our big boss. Sort of like the big mafia man. He brings guests in for parties and he is indeed very responsible. He would arrange for house rules (which i would dwell on in a bit).

Ms. Australia - She's the significant other of Mr. Peru. They live-in together when I moved in. I was surprised that she moved out two weeks ago. I initially thought that they broke up but I saw her just two days ago visiting us. She told me she's living in Chippendale closer to work. I share the same sentiments with her that its best to live in a place convenient to work (walking distance to her office). She's nice, friendly and easy to make her laugh.

Ms. Pink (or Mister?) - She looks like Pink, because her hair's pink and cut shorter. I think she was the culprit on the vampire incident that shocked me the most when I moved in before (hint: check my October 2009 post regarding Vampire). She is currently traveling to Romania cos she just finished her uni. Hence, she no longer lives in the house. It is now occupied by Mr. Australia after Ms. Taiwan took over.

Ms. Sweden - The coolest house mate ever. Too bad she had to go to greener pasteur. Sweet lotsa stories to tell. Even lets me hangout with her Swedish friends and the ever coolest friend Jack (reminds me of Just Jack, really). She just celebrated her birthday, unfortunately it coincided with David Sedaris' evening book reading. But I should have gone to her party. I miss her most especially the time we made fun of Ms. Taiwan's weird weird ways.

Ms. Taiwan - The one who took over Ms. Sweden's room. She's weird. Like she's secludes herself in the confinement of her room. Day-in and day-out she's in her room, never even goes out of the house. She looks nice but if I have to judge- she looks like she's doing witchcraft or spells of some sorts. There was one incident where she has crossed the line of weirdness and total insanity. Imagine that she used up all of my toilet papers to put in between the spaces of the toilet door. Imagine that the door has this Venetian blinds design. Justification is that she couldn't sleep cos of the noise of faucet leaking and the flush at night. She told me she even put earplugs while sleeping. WTF?

Mr. Chile - The New Kid on the Block. He looked like a teenager but on his early 20's. He's fun. Lots of drinking and party nights initiated by him. Through him, I have been hanging out with his Chilean buds. It was cool. He's the next best thing after Ms. Sweden. Cos I see him a lot in the patio when I'm doing my laundry. He even taught me the washing machine laundry trick. But this guy is so afraid of spiders. Swears at mossies and cockroaches.

Mr. Aussie - This is the weird weird guy that replaced Ms. Taiwan's room. I reckon Ms. Taiwan has put a spell on whoever takes over her room. Indeed the bizarre spell has possessed this guy. First day I saw him, he was running up and down the stairs doing nothing. accomplishing nothing. he leaves all his footwear outside the house. WTF, the house is a total chaos and even his room is messy. What's with that? But I have to give the benefit of the doubt. I haven't really talked to the guy and his a week old living in the Jarocin house.

Ms. French - I am looking forward to meet her. I haven't have the slightest idea who she is yet. She'll be moving in on Sunday and I hope she's like Ms. Sweden or Mr. Chile.

Spider Toilet
There are two toilets in the house. One situated near the patio and one near Ms. Pink, Ms. Taiwan and Mr. Australia's room. The one near the patio is the spider toilet. Although its so cool, cos you'll see vandals from previous tenants. It still gives me the creeps whenever I take a leak. There are giant spiders inside that one point I think was the biggest challenge I ever did. My bladder was already exploding and Ms. Taiwan was still putting her toilet papers in the Venetian door of the other toilet. I took the plunge and prayed so hard that no spider will appear. I almost had a black out but good thing I survived that initiation.

The Mixed-up Washing Machine
This is the one that Mr. Chile gave me some advice for. This washing machine is just demented. It won't let me wash my clothes properly. There were couple of times that I have to squeeze my clothes after washing cos it doesn't know how to spin dry. And one instance I put my clothes and the powder in but not even the water is coming out. I did the normal hand wash like I have a choice. And it became the longest laundry day of my life. And here comes Mr. Chile saying that I need to shake the brain of the washing machine. I did. And it's now working. Shake shake and you have to constantly watch it like a kid playing in the field.

Mr. Peru's House Rules
Very simple, really. He scheduled each one of us to take the rubbish out. Clean the toilet. Buy toilet papers, rubbish bags, dishwashing liquid. No noise during Sunday morning-meaning curfew for Saturday night drinking at the patio.

My early bloopers
Imagine I was climbing the great wall of Jarocin House whenever someone locked the door from the inside. There was this one time my neighbour saw me and I have to explain it really hard that I live in the house and I'm not a robber. Only to know from Mr. Chile and Ms. Taiwan that the knob of the door can be turned from the outside.

angel's delight

2010-01-17T11:34:00.001+11:00

the fragrant and alluring charisma of an angel
it raptures my body with distinct pleasure
takes away melancholy and distant desires
fruity, sparkly and it twinkles my skin in a subtle way
it refreshes me and gives me a distinct radiance

thanks to Lush® limited edition soaps. :)

The Hilarious David Sedaris

2010-01-17T01:22:00.001+11:00

Fabulous night with the great David Sedaris.
And he's even spectacular when he did the book reading.
I'm really happy that he would release a book this fall (U.S. season, i reckon)
He even had a Q&A during his show and it was heaps interesting.

After two hours of queueing for him to sign my book,
finally we were able to be up close with him.
Talked about how he finds it strange that Manila has all those cables visible.
and he signed my 'Dress Your Family with Corduroy and Denim' book as shown below.

XS.
I hafta tell him that I was tempted to jump the long queue cos I'm short. One of his jokes was all short people should be given priority. Haha :P and can you believe he's just 5'5".

Too bad my friend slept during the show. But still I thank him for coming with me though.

a hundred million suns

2010-01-16T15:51:00.000+11:00

million glitters in the sky
i once had a dream but i have to let it go
nostalgia hit me again and it troubles me
but i can just dream and wish for it

funny how i've been looking for something that i can't even have
maybe it will come, maybe it won't
but the feeling that a glimpse of hope is just around the corner
keeps me going on and yes, it never failed to make me smile.

a hundred millions suns. and if there's a rocket tie me to it.

the worried mouse

2010-01-13T19:10:00.000+11:00

i am often burdened by my responsibilities in the office. for one, the mere fact that we can't pay all our suppliers on time threatens the going-concern of the company. and the obvious indication that they can't even pay our salaries and wages on time. now that is serious. i know, its unprofessional to talk about work. but this consumes me day after day. now that i have to handle redundancies. again, i am troubled.

if only there is a suitable work environment ready to pick me up and believe in what i can do. sometimes i am worried that my bosses do not even know how (even the slightest) that i am working very hard. no pat on the shoulder. no compliments. i was used to that kind of environment where merit is always rewarded.

at the end of the day, i am just glad that i have a job. and i am thankful for it.

but seriously, this aspect still does trouble me.

can u handle hot? pure evil grin in me...

2010-01-12T23:06:00.000+11:00

I guess this is a question for someone who would have a lower threshold for hot temperature, that is in terms of perspiration. My whole body seemed like a leaking faucet. Originating from my forehead down to my back. Even the use of my D&G anti-perspirant is futile. Sheer embarrassment occurred to me when I was walking down at Sydney Uni. Everyone's looking at me. They were obviously thinking someone threw a water balloon at my back, underarms, front and my whole face.

I decided to strip my shirt off and remedy this jabaric situation using USYD toilet's hand dryer. Good thing, it was rectified. Remind me to wear undershirt next time. I was just being Aussie by not putting any under shirt. So bite me.

XS1.
Lets digress, shall we. There will come a point in your life that u will think that abusiveness cannot be tolerated anymore. Enough is enough. Though I felt bit bad with my actions. Hence tomorrow I will do something about it. Go early at work and try to please them. Reverse psychology might work on both accounts.

I placed the leech in the aquarium jar rather than killing it. There might be something I can do about their unrealistic demands. Perhaps give them frozen jello and make up for the unchivalry behaviour in me.

XS2.
Another story. Mike, our new house mate is really strange. I bet he's either schizophrenic or druggie (as what my friends have suggested). For one, he goes up and down and all around the house. Doing absolutely nothing. Slams everything. Keeps his shoes outside the house even if his room and the house are in a total chaotic state. But lets observe and will finally conclude by next week.

the crazy weekend

2010-01-11T22:51:00.000+11:00

been up all night and its crazy as hell. always on parties and drinks. i think its based on the premise that the week to come would be a big deal and we just want to unworry. unstress. ala-NRMA ad.

i just cant divulge info here. it was fun night, met a lot of new friends. went out of the box by trying to do something new. indeed it was hot as summer can be!

******

mondays are usually the lowest point to work but still i have done lots of tasks today. i actually ran out of things to do in the office. hence i opted to use facebook and cook through my cafe world.

its all gloomy outside and all i wanna do is go home and start surfing the net. now that im online, i just want to sleep. i think im demented. i need a surge of retail therapy again to cure this state of mind.

and I'm an official fan!

2010-01-09T18:53:00.001+11:00

There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some loves that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky enough to end up with somebody who has a little of that insanity. Someone who never lets go. Someone who cherishes you forever.

- Ally McBeal.

senselessness

2010-01-09T14:04:00.002+11:00

anguished souls. burdened by myself unknowingly. carried away by eccentricity. i am sorry but trying to straighten things out. its futile. i'm not interested. next page please...

***

Summer's heat is on. After the hangover from guys night out, we played badminton. Too exhausted and lacking sleep. At least I shed off some calories.

Still wondering if I will go out tonight. Still pondering. Is it worth it?

***

I am demented. Yes and this doesn't make any sense at all.

Rondz' Wishlist 2010

2010-01-05T19:49:00.000+11:00

When you're down, sometimes shopping can be a therapy. As wikipedia would say, it improves our mood or disposition in periods of depression or transition. and that is what you call - retail therapy.

Hang on?! I've used up my life savings during the past months of recession not to mention travels. How can this be possible?

Times like this, study shows that "window shopping online" can be an alternative to the actual retail therapy. Instead of buying, you are drawn to put up a wishlist. The same feel-good satisfaction you get when you walk around shops.

So far my wishlist are the following:
1. Stewie's Head

Will probably get this before the fiscal year ends? I still have lots of TV Shows to watch. And I reckon stocktake clearance sale would justify buying this!

2. The Book Thief

At the rate I'm going with my book readings, seems like I would justify to buy this one during Winter. Although Summer would help a lot cos I would be bringing something to read in the beach. But still have loads of books to read... I reckon Winter '10.

3. Ponyo DVD

I will definitely buy this DVD on Thursday, late night shopping day. Remember I always have fifty bucks shopping accrual. What justifies it? Rotten Tomato's review!

4. Evening with David Sedaris: 16/01/10

I will book this show on Friday, even if I'm going alone! I don't care. I would have a good laugh. I can concentrate even more. Hold it... I know I would look like a big L. So I might give one free ticket to a friend or a date. Let's see.

5. Gucci, Navy Blue Thong

I've tried it on, and it was spectacular.. Hmm... Fabulous if you may. I deserve to buy this, maybe as a Birthday Gift! :P

6. Bally, Transporter Tan Messanger Bag

Yes, I know. I wouldnt be able to use this. I'm working on a much lower profile company. If I were still in Ernst & Young I would definitely consider it. But right now, no no no! But maybe Christmas time, this could be a perfect gift for myself. And at that time, I would be working in a much better corporate environment.

Stress. Anxiety. - all gone!

HNY 2010.

2010-01-01T22:47:00.000+11:00

A start of a new decade can be promising. Hopes and dreams are indeed carried-over. Aspirations seem to be auspicious. We venture our life with lots of mistakes, dismay and things we regret doing. But come to think of it, lessons were learned.

Resolutions. Quite pathetic and such a cliché. I would have to say that I will again strive with all my will power to succeed in endeavours I wanted to achieve.

So much has happened in 2009. I would not want to forget them. Yes, those are moments in the past but it musters courage giving me strength to face a promising year ahead. No need to jot down or recap these events, as they have been journalised. Sealed. and now I'm moving on.

Starting a new life can be refreshing. Yet can be scary sometimes. As long as we know that we have a concrete road to step on, choosing the path would be manageable.

-------------------

This years NYE was celebrated @ Ryde Municipality. Over at Niko's. But we were in the City after 6pm. I never realised that there would be 9pm fireworks. Shoot! If only we knew, we could have stayed bit longer.

No worries, at least we were able to have bit of drinks at my place. Together with my spanish speaking house mates and their hullata guests. We were obviously got lost in translation and decided to head out over at Niko's.

XS.
Don't treat me rubbish if you don't want to be treated rubbish. Otherwise, its going to be a dumpster and its not going to smell nice.

Christmas '09

2009-12-26T23:14:00.000+11:00

Alcohol. Fun times. Magic Sing. Fun times. Barbie. Fun times. Jenolan cave. Fun times.

Been drinking a lot this season, but tell it to the Aussie way of celebrating Christmas. Even my housemates have been staying up late. Waking up late. Same hangover. All for the yuletide season.

Well, no matter how you look at it - Christmas wont be the same if you're not spending it with your family. It feels empty even if you have so many friends. Even if you drown yourself with different booze.

This year has been different, really. No present received. Not much presents given. No familiar carols I hear on nearby streets. No colorful houses. The Christmas breeze...

But still I am thankful for the warmth celebration we had with my good ol' Eastwood buddies. Being with them is enough, priceless. So I celebrate my first Sydney Christmas. Not bad.

Happy Christmas everyone.

How do you really treat Koondis?

2009-12-20T10:03:00.000+11:00

This word came up the other day when I was watching Friends.

Remember Ross' Koondis, its indescribable thing on Ross' tushy. Funny how all medical people started to gather up just to see something unexplainable and phenomenal (?). It was cured eventually when Ross decided to go to a witch doctor named Guru Saj.

And what is the magic spell that cast away the bad Koondis? ----Love.

I'm afraid mine won't be cured soon. And I'm afraid I will hafta celebrate the holidays with my Koondis.

The Tale of the Struggling Me

2009-12-07T21:04:00.001+11:00

Emotionally. Financially.

The downturn began exactly last year. And it has been hard to recover since then. I was praying for a better life. Each pieces that was shattered have now been cleaned up, meticulously been placed in the bin. And now, I am recreating a new life ahead.

The struggle definitely continues. Each heartache and dismay resounds to defensiveness that I can never find another person. But life gives us maturity. We keep on learning for us to be stronger in facing the different facets in life. Each small achievements I gain, I learned to count the blessings. I learned to appreciate simple joys in life. The struggles I am facing gives me a sense of optimism that its going to be a better year for me in 2010. I feel that the economy is picking up, much as my life is regaining its momentum.

Its not all about money. Its not all about wealth and career progressions. Its about how you face each day and how your disposition and realisations will be. Its about how you make it a better place and feel that life is indeed - beautiful.

Simple joys, less expectations. Greater joys in small rewards.

That's my tale of the struggling me. Or should I dare say, the tale of the aspiring visionary.

The Ghost still haunts me

2009-11-28T14:50:00.001+11:00

Living all these years alone I have longed for company. Having dealt with a massive blow last year has made me furious. But seems life is sweet that it heals unfathomable wound even if it hurts so deep. I learned how to be fair. I learned to be understanding. But seems I have been traveling in a limitless thoughtfulness. Keeps me wondering where is the gray thin line that separates fairness and abusiveness.

That is right. The ghost still haunts me. And I have to hide and hibernate.

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spiders and cockroaches

2009-11-22T22:34:00.000+11:00

too hot today after cherry picking in the morning and picnic on the afternoon. i decided to get a cold shower. only to see couple of spiders in the bathroom.

i immediately exterminated them. i was too freaked out. then soon as i finish - a flying cockroach went straight at me. as if attacking me cos of the spider crime i committed.

i just hate all of 'em... of course my flip flops were the ultimate weapon for extermination.

Outlook

2009-11-18T23:29:00.000+11:00

I am recreating the pieces. Living life slowly yet painstakingly focusing on not committing the same mistakes again. Sure, I've learned my lessons and this time around-I know better what to do. I am hoping to see a clearer pathway to betterment. Self-evolved and away from the wretchedness of what had been years living in nonsense egotistical outlook that I've beset myself early on. Destiny should be seen as bridge towards the one you love. And I shall find that bridge and conquer this seemingly unchartered territory to the zestful life that beckons before me.

My long list of grievances

2009-11-12T21:18:00.001+11:00

So it starts...

Like a pee that is about to burst for a long one hour wait and you can't do a thing cos your in a travel bus. It's has been a long time since I've pass upon the burden of bad bad thoughts to my blog. It's about time I unleash it.

The struggling accountant
I know I shouldn't complain but I really should. I feel I am worth some good fortune but I'm working as an accountant for a dodgy company. Talk about interrelated entities that is owned by a common middle eastern mafia. I'm cleaning up the mess the previous account... err bookkeeper has done.

The problem with being a former external auditor is that you'll fussed about the accounting process. Every bit of aspect lacks controls. And you seem to be too much overwhelmed with what's on your plate though you have been itching to correct every single thing that is wrong with the company.

To give a bit of details on the work of the struggling accountant, here are my duties:
- Hocus pocus of BAS. Think Excel's 'Goal Seek' to derive the tax payable to ATO.
- Investigate where have all the PCF has gone to. It's like seven grand in the books but no real money in the Director's box!
- Solving the labyrinth of intercompany accounts. OMG! This has been the worst ever. A pays for B's goods but B records his own sale. A never records A's transaction with B. Then A records gazillion transaction with customers but never gets paid cos C gets all the money, where C never books A-C transaction and claims it on his own. And here comes D charging every bit of sales that was supplied by A to cash wherein there is no cash account for D plus the physical money goes to A anyway.
- Data encoder. Tons of invoices gets dumped on my desk but good if it comes as the sale is earned. but it goes to my desk only during +10 after month-end! Just when I have closed my books!
- Suppliers' fury catcher. Ohh... the purchases side. Well, this one is pointless. I have piles of invoices processed but remains unpaid. Suppliers get mad all the time and has threaten not to supply us. Where has all the money gone? Why can't we pay.
- BAS. Payroll tax. Super. Payroll run. This is all fun but then again, where is the money? I have been piling up months and months worth of unpaid taxes.
- E, F and G bookkeeping. More companies! This is nice. They gave me more company to account for.
- And many little details that I can't even fathom why I ever accepted this job.

But come to think of it, I did learn a lot. I have a lot of duties to fulfill particularly cleaning up this mess. Putting up suggestions for better internal controls. And finally stepping up as management accountant as I know this company needs a good financial analysis of where it is going.

The poor rat
Who can ever imagine? that I've been working really hard but won't get paid. How frustrating is that?! The company doesn't have money to pay its employees. Far out! I'm living with every little cents I've got. I was really pitying myself awhile ago cos I just nibbled cheese cos my tummy's getting mad. I'm living in a shared accommodation and got no flights booked for the holidays. I missed on loan repayments and credit cards. Got no money on my accounts and maxed out credit cards. Shesh! Too excited to be Friday and I will sing 'I will survive'!

Ungrateful "friends"
My Eastwood buddies have been dodging my calls for unknown reasons. How fucking hard can it be to let me know what the problem is? They could have called me. Tell me directly what's wrong.

My weekday blah blah

2009-11-11T22:07:00.000+11:00

What's up with me?

Blogless this past few days. I was kept busy with my new work. Familiarising myself with the process? Done. Now I am establishing controls for the month-end process. It's not easy, I tell you. The only consolation is Reese treat and badminton weekends with my friends.

Lately my other friends at Ryde seems to be preoccupied with their US trip. I wonder what they are doing? I miss them... I hope we could undo the present and bring back the good ol' times.

My other friend came all the way from the other end of Australia to relocate in Sydney. Whole new world awaits him. I just hope that he'll find work soon. And I can move to a better place and split the rent with him. Though the place am staying now is lovely but am still not that 100% comfortable living with other people.

Tomorrow at work, I shall do my best. I will deliver promised consolidation by Friday. It means if I have to work late tomorrow - then so be it. Friday will be a day of celebration then. Finally, its pay time. I got fifty bucks accrued for my shopping. I promise to give myself performance bonus if I meet my deliverables. My budget is not that big but I could find simple happiness from that amount. I reckon we should eat at a nice place.

Hyperactive Saturday and Lazy Sunday

2009-11-08T15:41:00.000+11:00

Achieved a lot this weekend and I'm alcohol free. For one, all activities were done on Saturday like there was no tomorrow. Sunday was a bit relaxed while I try to be domesticated good bloke and clean up my room.

Saturday
Morning's rush, I reckon. Coffee to start the day right. Badminton match for two straight hours. We won! Then decided to walk from Five Dock Leisure Centre to Ghie's place at Russell Lea. T'was followed by afternoon heavy barbeque at Sid's place. Really nice ribs with Jack Danielle's sauce. More and more food was flowing. Movie marathon, endless munching of food (incl. Reese chox), green tea, nice back massage (c/o Sid's seat massager). Like it was half past six but we never gave up on cycling. I dunno where we got the energy but we had two laps at Bay Run. Exhausting but all worth it. I think I lost calories I gained from the heavy lunch.

Sunday was a bit weird cos I lost all the adrenalin I had yesterday. Or maybe because it was drizzling. I just decided to go to the city cos I'm craving for nice lunch. I had this stir fry chicken with cashew. But because of the rail track work. I decided not to meet Emie to get my laundry. I went back home carrying this huge clothes airer. I decided I will clean my room. Do my laundry. And just relax.

3 weeks notice

2009-11-06T23:09:00.001+11:00

Consider this as my three weeks notice. Nah! I'm not resigning (just yet) from my current employment. I love it, really! I believe I still have coupla missions to accomplish before I resign. Plus I have to buildup my continuing education, remember?

This is more of a notice that my blog will be privitised soon. Effective 1 December 2009 0001H my site will be accessible only by invites. Hence, if you want to continue following me and my journey, feel free to send me an email.

My email: rondz.tk@hotmail.com

Gambling with cards

2009-11-01T07:29:00.001+11:00

Getting the right strategy in a card game should mean you know how to choose the best combination. Sometimes you think that you have the best one. Only to realise that it doesn't go well with how the game flows. Hence, there is an urgent reorganisation. Throw away cards that doesn't go well with your current bet. Pick new ones that can add value to you. And with a bit of luck you'll get the ace. And win the race.

Life sometimes can be compared to card gambling. You can win some. It can just be a tricky game. Quick impulsive decisions should be made or else you lose everything.

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My Halloween Cat and Sangria Friday Night

2009-10-31T17:18:00.000+11:00

I've been talking to my stuffed animal! He is weird but quite photogenic. He loves watching TV. Used to sleep on top of Niko's TV but now that I have my own room at FL. He keeps staring outside the window? Quite weird. I just had a photo shoot for our Halloween comics (see below). He cooperates well. Hmm.. I wonder what to call him? Poo? Yes, he's name is Poo without an 'H'. Just plain black poo. haha

****
Yesterday was a great Friday night. I got a chance to hangout with my work buddies. We ate in a fine Spanish resto. Too bad we weren't able to see Flamingo dancing. Sangria for three hours is just impossible. I realised that working on this new environment is great as I have new colleagues to hangout with on a Friday night. Plus they're really nice and even offered a ride home.

Thursday is the new Monday

2009-10-28T22:49:00.000+11:00

I just have more like an hour to straighten up my outlook. In blogging terms.

What's up with the new banner? Right, it's all about showing you the good side of me. It shall be a fresh start for me at looking at different chapters of life with a more enthusiastic approach. Friendlier and more compassionate, that is.

Like New Year's and Monday's, it gives us chance to have a new beginnings. And I reckon I needed that in my life. So starting tomorrow, I will lessen rants and you would hear more of life's good 'ol fashion values, on which we used to rely. Sounds familiar? (Hint: Family Guy).

May tomorrow be a perfect day, may you find love and laughter along the way! (Hint: RX 93.1).

Disclaimer. This will be cheesier than normal, I swear.

Indian Curry makes me MAD!

2009-10-28T18:55:00.001+11:00

A code name I shall use for now.

He is such a scum bag! Scatterbrain if you would. I hate his guts. His smell. His face - a plain disgust. He always goes to my desk to pester me with his annoying questions. Can you believe this guy brags about his "Masters in Professional Accounting" (with Air Quote) but doesn't know anything about debits and credits? I hate to think he's lying but I think he is. Is it possible for someone to have a good theoretical background on accounting and worse practical knowledge? He doesn't even know what fortnight means!!

My colleague and I are arguing whether he is:
a. An illegal immigrant;
b. A terrorist sent from Middle East; or
c. Just plain stupid.

I've been pissed so many times. I told him not to expect to much from me, cos good training comes from personal initiative to learn. I don't spoon feed. I terrorise and I can eat someone alive.

For a start, I did give him some filing to do. He can't even follow simple instructions. I promise I would be very strict with him. He has to learn. And my iron hands and mean persona will unleash Rondzter.

Beware. It starts on Monday.

The Ex-Auditor

2009-10-27T22:54:00.000+11:00

I'm glad to be finished with E&Y.

Don't get me wrong but I did enjoy working for the firm for more than five years. I did gain a lot. And one thing I learned is often times it can be rewarding. And on the other hand it can be a curse.

Not being at E&Y, I discovered a lot of things I've been missing. There's more to life than work, definitely. Stressing out for your career. Been there. But once they had let me go - its like a new era had just began. I guess, career isn't everything.

Can you imagine that E&Y called me up this morning? Offering my job back. And listen to this. They are reconsidering me for another 3 months. Talk about reusable disposable auditor.

But I have just printed a big 'NO' using a permanent indelible marker that I'm an ex-auditor. Never returning on that route again.

Indian Curry for the Soul

2009-10-27T09:00:00.001+11:00

It's an everyday struggle at work. I know I shouldn't be complaining. I'm just a 4-day employee but my assistant's aroma is so mesmerizing.

I am bewildered and bothered working with him cos every so often he would lean towards me. (Hint : Axe's commercial). I gave him lotsa filing to do expecting he would stay away but still he asks damn questions..

Aaargh... My tortured soul on a Monday morning.

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vultures and vampires

2009-10-26T07:51:00.001+11:00

where are you?

-FRIENDS DVD
-iDog
-Multifunctional Printer

I've searched Eastwood and my boxes in Russell Lea. Can't find it... Only one place left unsearched.

What's up with that? Can they just simply borrow it from me? I feel like the vultures have feasted on my things while i am away.

**
I was agonising what I saw last night (my first night at forest lodge). it seems like there were vampires living in this place. blood spilled near the bin.

did their momma ever teach them proper hygiene?

f*cking dismayed. not good to start my first day here. not good to start a Monday.

Thanks Eastwood buddies!

2009-10-25T13:04:00.000+11:00

After 3 months of living in Eastwood it's time to say goodbye.

I have to say that I enjoyed living with Niko and PJ.

Though there were couple of times that my life was in chaos - they were there to offer shelter and cope with my problematic life. Having shared your home means so much to me. I will surely miss Niko's lovely adobo and PJ's fantastic kare-kare. But most of all I will miss moments when I'm with you guys.

Hope you visit me in Forest Lodge soon. Don't forget to bring baker's delight.

Cheers mates!

xoxo
Rondz

crap can i survive?

2009-10-22T00:30:00.001+11:00

demotion is just too painful. from first class working environment down to a rundown office site. i reckon its going to be a tough time adjusting to this kind of work. don't get me wrong? i don't totally dislike it. i just can't help but compare what I was getting at E&Y before. basic things and let me enumerate

1. no induction? where's my oh&s? where's my contract? no id? no own space? no email? no windows log-in... honestly i was in a state of culture shock. but i pulled myself together. telling myself that its better than nothing.

2. i miss pantry full of fruits, free coffee / tea, biscuits, TV when I get bored. Darling Harbour view.

3. i don't even have my own supplies. fortunately, i brought my notebook and pen.

4. i called help desk like ten times today. just because the software we are using is a bit crappy. lots of bugs. plus i cant install a printer.

5. i miss starbucks, gloria jeans and world square just around the corner when u feel like escaping. but here, my escape is the busy parramatta rd.

but on the other hand, i believe that it all starts with hard work and perseverance. since i'm doing overall finance functions, i will definitely gain experience needed to climb the commerce ladder eventually. then i will be able to finally complete my CA. and take a better job in few years time. let me think of it as my part time job to sustain myself whilst focusing on my postgraduate studies.

Finally... how i spent my last unemployed day!

2009-10-20T22:38:00.000+11:00

Finally...
Last Monday, I got an interview with one of my friends' boss. She referred me and even though the salary range is way below my E&Y salary. I grabbed the opportunity of meeting with him. I woke up at 7am. Unusual for me cos I normally wake up way past 10 in the morning.

The interview was brief. Although I prepared for it learning about Australian taxation. But still it doesn't hurt to do bit of research and be ready. The five minute interview was an indication that they are interested with me. The only thing left to talk about is the tenure of my employment. I agreed to stay longer given that the Company is stable and growth is apparent. Only thing I need to know is if they will shoulder my Postgraduate program. The interview ended with salary negotiation. And he promised to give me a call with an offer.

The offer was made after an hour. I received a call and it is within my expectation. I took it without thinking twice. On the back of my head, I have an option of returning to E&Y but this has not yet been 100% confirmed. But still. I needed a job. I want further studies.

This 3-month ordeal has opened my eyes to things that I should attain. I have reassessed my goals. I realised that CA is important tool to demand higher position and get job security. On another account, commercial experience is also vital. And it shuns Big 4 experience even if its local experience.

how i spent my last unemployed day!
A hectic day for me cos my new employer wants me to start immediately. Meaning two days after I got the offer. Fair enough. The initial thought was to get aligned with the work time clock. I woke up 7am. Cooked my brekkie. Visited the unit cos I'm looking for shared accommodation. Uni tour. USYD seems to be a fine university and I have already enquired with admissions. Had a bit of shopping. Got a Diesel bag that I'm going to use tomorrow. Lunch at Nando's. Ribs, I just loved every bit of it. Movie cos its Tuesday! Surrogates. It's bizarre but I enjoyed it. Then off to the Rocks for my Guylian Dark Hot Chox. Was home by 3ish and took my power nap. Ended the day with cheap $5 pizza with Pee.

Now I'm ready to sleep and looking forward to a sunnier day ahead.

Blog Action Day: The Planet Earth

2009-10-15T22:26:00.000+11:00

Blog action day focuses mainly on climate change and its adverse impact on our environment. There are a lot of ways for us to help protect our planet. In our everyday lives most of us never realise how little things can help make our world greener and a better place to live in.

I have recently been watching the TV series 'The Planet Earth'. I was astonished with the vast diversity of our planet's species. The first episode was entitled 'From Pole to Pole' and it shows a journey around the globe as it reveals the gradual effect of climatic change as season change. It explains why there are sand storms, severe storms, etc. Not being conscious and well-informed on how we can control carbon emissions and save energy, we won't be able to achieve the common goal of saving our planet.

I was particularly amazed by the animals, their habitat and how they interact / survive across different seasons. Our planet is rich with natural resources and so many beautiful things we never have appreciated because we are too busy with our daily lives. If all of us would be able to see the episodes of 'The Planet Earth', then I am more than sure that we will do something to save our planet.

Not all countries in the world are that committed to make proper laws to regulate climate change and impart awareness to everyone. In Sydney, I am proud that there are measures that NSW government is doing to ensure we do our own share to the changing times.
- If we purchase appliances (i.e., washing machine, fridge or dryer), it would indicate how much energy we save. The more stars the better. And they often provide cash rebates if you purchase the energy efficient ones.
- If you book a flight, you can have the option to pay certain amount for carbon emission.
- Energy Australia (my electricity provider) gives out free installation of energy efficient bulbs. I also opted to pay premium to contribute for carbon emissions and some research.

Energy efficiency and water conservation tips:
- change light bulbs to energy efficient white light
- instead of using dryer, use the natural ways of drying things like *under the sun* method
- make most of natural sunny light rather than opening your lights in the afternoon.
- use of appliances efficiently (full loads of washing clothes or washing dishes)
- report leaking faucet and avoid wasting water

Quoting Barrack Obama:
"All across the world, in every kind of environment and region known to man, increasingly dangerous weather patterns and devastating storms are abruptly putting an end to the long-running debate over whether or not climate change is real. Not only is it real, it's here, and its effects are giving rise to a frighteningly new global phenomenon: the man-made natural disaster."

Dust Storm. Tsunami. Earthquake. Storms. Flooding. Drought.

Nuff said. We need to act. And we hafta do it soon.

On losing hope

2009-10-15T13:14:00.001+11:00

Last night I can't sleep at all. I am honestly bothered that I don't have a job yet. Six months of being without a job is actually revolting. I honestly don't know what's wrong with my CV? I know for a fact that my local experience is not enough to get the jobs that I wanted. But I tried to negotiate with my agents that I am willing to cut my salary expectation to 15%. But still no word. Now, I am willing to cut it even further down by 32%. It's getting tiring, frustrating and devastating. I know I don't have CA qualifications. But my Big 4 experience is not enough? I am thoroughly reviewing my career path and I can't believe that I have been one of the top performers before but where I am now?

The mere thought of what my lifestyle had been for the past months is just awful. The fresh start that I am anticipating has long been overdue. I cried. I really can't take it anymore. I know that I have to keep the faith. But is there something I can do to speed up the process? Get any job. Start from the bottom. Rebuild my career once again.

The Story of the Annoying One

2009-10-10T16:39:00.000+11:00

To give you a background of that annoying person:

She talks about herself nonstop.

She sings even if she doesn't know the song. Yes the hums are killing me.

Makes fun of people's age like its a big deal.

Shows her collection of gift cards. Duh? I don't give a tiny rats' ass.

Comments on her life story on every place she sees.

She talks about her boy-toys all the time. Like she's hot. I'm awfully squeezed at the back of the car.

Talks about buying house at practically all places that comes to her mind. I can't take it anymore I even asked her 'Did you win the lottery?' I wanted to add 'or are you dreaming?' but might be offensive.

And finally what I hate the most is that I can't stop to notice all her irritating ways and it was just nerve wracking!

Sent via BlackBerry® from Vodafone

Addendum

2009-10-08T01:17:00.000+11:00

Oh... I just realised that my blog counts (eeek! seems like blood count) are getting lower. Last month's statistics I got fewer hits cos I only posted like four entries.

Well, what can we do? My days are empty, no shit-load of stuff to tell. No work. No life. Not much of things I get interested in and my self-esteem is at its all time low. The only thing I mastered is the art of bumming around. It sucks, I tell ya. And hell yeah, I am now in desperate need of a job to keep me sane. If there is a 101 on 'Getting-yourself-employed' book. I won't think twice in buying it.

Still I say that it's not about the money. Not to brag but I got shit loads of it to survive another season. But somehow I need to be useful to the society. And damn, I couldn't justify any vacation if I can't find myself a job. So please... If you're reading this and if you're from NSW. Please, please hire me. I am talented, smart and gorgeous.

The Idiot and the Bad Country Weather

2009-10-08T00:52:00.000+11:00

I dunno. I just have to blog this. Call it stupid but I am stupid and plain dumb. I got stucked in the apartment's hallway without a key. It's middle of the night and the last thing I wanted to do is wake up my housemates. It's Niko's bday for crying out loud. I just walked out of the unit to take some calls. Went out since I don't want to disturb my sleeping housemates. I left the door open but the freakin' wind has somehow blew from inside (through windows) and the door slammed and I got stucked.

The agony of sheer coldness led me to worry if I can sleep outside. Being so desperate to contact them, I rang their mobile phones and even landline for so many times. Guilt has slowly crawled its way. Luckily, Pee woke up and opened the door after a 15-minute panic that seemed like forever.

Lesson learned. Don't be fucking stupid.

--------
I hafta talk about my rainy long weekend and the unfortunate thing happened. As you might have heard we had a long vacation here in Sydney cos its labour day. But to me, its another pathetic excuse to get out of Sydney and forget about my job dilemma. For one weather's not cooperating. It was raining all throughout the long weekend. We cancelled horseback riding cos it can be dangerous. But funny I got an ankle sprain because I pretended to know how to play chinese garter and fell hard on my left foot, which until now still aches. But is generally fine (about 95% healed). My sprain became better or it might be my adrenalin to participate in outdoor fun activities that pushed me to get better.

We bushed walk for lotsa kilometers around Kangaroo Valley and beyond to see coupla falls. Which ended up not so fantastic since fog is all that you see. Highlight of the event (not mentioning the fantastic marshmallow melting) was the kayaking. I was really good at it and I am one of the two brave souls who doesn't know how to swim but still managed to get a solo.

Thanks to my mates who have organised it, brought some food and made our weather-sucking country vacation a fabulous treat. Special mention to Sheng of course. Thanks for the ride, great team leader and for always being amazingly cool.

The Poo Accident and my bitchy mood

2009-10-01T17:55:00.000+10:00

Poo Accident

Just when my spirits where up 'cos of :
- three job prospectives that contacted me,
- had my hurricane pork ribs,
- donated for Ondoy victims benefit, and
- sunny and summer-like weather

I accidentally sat on a dog poop. Good thing I brought my hoodie to wrap around my waist to conceal the poo incident. Luckily it's just few minutes of torture under the poo spell. I saw General Pants and instantly bought a Stussy shorts. Now I can enjoy the beach. Baywatching and finish my overdue book.

Bitchy Mood ii

After the dusty storm that swept Sydney last week, now we are rewarded with a good sunny day. That's why I went to the beach not thinking twice. But the power of technology has once again made the lovely weather into a pit of darkness. Through 24/7 internet connection I have been aware of any developments/news on social networking.

As a result I've been shrewd. Only because you provoked me to it. Generally I'm a friendly and nice guy but I have my limitations you see.. I can be really bitchy when not treated properly. I just have this dreadful angst that would mystify many. Its just the way of telling someone to fuck-off and mind your own business. Grow up and be mature. Act like a man and tell me directly if something's bothering you.

2 cents.

disclaimer: not in anyway angry at you. this is just a way to vent out.

been around...

2009-09-15T12:40:00.000+10:00

lately i know i'm blogless. but twitterful. and cheerful.

just a week prior to my birthday, roi visited me here in sydney and i have the honour of showing him around. then the day before my birthday, jeff came for an 18-day holiday in australia. i was too busy touring as well. forgot about job hunting and all those routinary stuff that i do that kills me from boredom. good thing that i still have enough funds to sustain me and i've been around NSW.

will insert picture links soon...

now im back to the normal bit i used to do. but this time, i've got enough books and dvds to entertain me until the job search finally concludes. *cf*

its tuesday, its movie day. this time emie would join me and hoping that funny people would indeed stand by its name. otherwise that's another ten bucks i wont see again.

My Springfield

2009-09-07T12:10:00.000+10:00

Walking past the trees after my interview, I began to notice the branches of most trees. On the tip there were leaves which were beginning to sprout. I am reminded that spring is finally here. I just love spring the most. Its vibrant colors. The coolness yet fair weather. A visit and stroll to the beach. Always is a perfect day. Seeing nature's apparent beauty. I am just lucky that my birthday falls on this season.

It always gives me an inspiration to live by my motto. New beginning. Just last night when I celebrated mass at St. Mary's Cathedral, the sermon was about encouragement through this tough times. A new beginning not only in the midst of our personal life but also in our communion with God. Likewise, spring gives me enormous hope that there is a clearer road ahead.

Again million thanks to my friends for sharing some time on my birthday. Though a bit wounded financially, its worth it despite the minor unchivalry of some. I tend to diagnose it with holistic approach rather than spoiling the night and turning it into a bleak event.

May I find the perfect place for solitude. Simpson's call it their Springfield. I want my own. Shouldn't be long, I reckon.

turning 27

2009-09-05T19:22:00.000+10:00

thoughts on turning 27? Well, not much really. Its not an age that would create a big fuzz but i am always reminded that just in a few years time I will be turning 30. and it will be a big deal! whether i have my dream job. whether i have attained what i wanted in life.

thanks for my friends, its something that i will always cherish. at the lowest point in my life, who else will support me. just minutes away til we have pre-celebration dinner at hurricanes. and hours away til the countdown for my birthday. what more can i wish but having friends with me. enjoying few drinks with good music.

Analyse Me / Triathlon Tuesday

2009-09-01T23:13:00.000+10:00

Analyse Me
I feel lost. emotional. bothered.

I guess its because i'm alone most of the time. And memories are rushing back in unexpected ways like walking in shops, going to familiar places or just by reading a book. Looking back the way it were is just too painful. its hard to explain. I just couldn't explain thoroughly the intricacies of these predicaments.

I have accepted each downfall. But no matter what realisations I make, my subconscious would always linger on the past. And one strand of memory brings back the pain. It shadows any gleam of hope that might shine for just a split second.

Practically speaking, I am well. sane. and is a strong willed person. I know i can always survive. I am independent and smart. Ironic that i'm writing the first few with a sense of surrender. But this is mainly to pour out the negativity inside me. To keep me young and fresh. And one day i will indeed be totally refreshed. 'A new beginning' as i often say.

Triathlon Tuesday
No! It's not Swimming, Cycling and Running. It's Movies, Cycling and Reading. Those are my sports for today. Yes, I consider all of them as sports. Watching movies and reading a book are both a sport to me. Mental and spiritual sport since it both exercises your brain and soul. Even your appreciation of art and literature. And how you would react on certain issues. The jolt of excitement it brings.

Movies I've seen are District 9. Inglorious Basterd. Public Enemy. Forget the last one, I dozed off anyway. District 9 is really weird for me at first as I am not a fan of Sci Fi that much. But the unrivaled acting of the leading character plus how it was conceptualised are just focking awesome *saying it with the accent*. Inglorious Basterd is really disturbing at first. Its gory and very very violent. But then I was carried away by the movie. For one, I adore the French and German language. I love reading subtitles while both languages are music to my ears. Its witty dialogue and outrageous plot kept me entertained all-throughout. Plus Brad Pitt and Christoph Waltz are both splendid on this movie.

Duo Cycling, Chinese Mafia and MC's

2009-08-31T01:12:00.000+10:00

Duo Cycling Day
Had an amazing afternoon with Ghie. This time its duo cycling day. Been to a lot of places in the span of two hours. I was able to read my book under the sun whilst eating an apple. So Aussie, I know. But I enjoyed it. Bicentennial Park is really lovely. So many families go for a bike ride on a Sunday afternoon. And that explains why Ghie couldn't find a parking space. Got myself a coffee while waiting for her. Its tiring as hell cos I set my base on Rhodes. I did go back and forth thrice.

Chinese Mafia Wars
This evening after mass I was able to witness a crazy brawl between the chinese community. Don't ask me the reason for the brawl as they were shouting and screaming in chinese. I watched. Call me usosero but it was hilarious. I wasn't afraid. Suspicion crept in and I have to watch. I have to laugh deep inside so as not to attract attention. Its basically Mr. Noodle Waiter and some crew vs. early 40s Chinese woman with her family. It was noisy and disturbing. Yet for me its simply an entertainment.

I Want To Know What Love Is
The MC rendition of the foreigner's classic song has been redefined. And as always it seems that it aligned with my current personal disposition.

I gotta take a little time
 A little time to think things over
 I better read between the lines
 In case I need it when Im older  

Now this mountain I must climb
 Feels like a world upon my shoulders 
I through the clouds I see love shine
 It keeps me warm as life grows colder

  In my life theres been heartache and pain
 I dont know if I can face it again 
Cant stop now, Ive traveled so far 
To change this lonely life  

I wanna know what love is 
I want you to show me
 I wanna feel what love is I
know you can show me 

solo cycling day

2009-08-30T02:19:00.000+10:00

I dunno what has bitten me during that 10+ hours sleep. But all of a sudden I was craving for an outdoor activity. Immediately ate my late meal. Gathered my essentials. And off I went to Rhodes.

It was a nice day, maybe that was the reason. I have to recommend the Olympic Park as the best cycling place! I began my little scenic journey (not knowing where to go) by quickly examining the maps posted in the park. *There were so many of 'em. You wont get lost*.

The Route
I went to Field Studies Centre. Followed by Brickpit (where the Ring Walk was situated). I thought I could run and finish the whole lap but I just couldn't. But was able to accomplish 3 laps. then went straight to the Sydney Showground. Never realised how big it was. So much recreational activities. I'm thinking of getting some rollerblades and go to the Skate Park. I had a coffee break at the ANZ Stadium. On the way back I went around Badu Mangroves. It was magnificent. Its creepy yet awesome. Then I went around Rhodes going through the lookout points. Never had the time to stay long cos I wanted to reach Meadowbanks and pass through the river during sunset (always been my dream to do this). Finally when its about to get dark, I went back to Ikea and had satisfied another craving. Swedish Meatballs with Raspberry, Gravy and Mashed Potato.

Some Pics.

Ring Walk at Brickpit

CB at ANZ Stadium

Badu Mangroves

River @ Field Studies Centre

View at Rhodes Lookout

Passing Meadowbank's Bridge

My reward. Swedish Meatballs.

Reference.
If you wanna know more about this. Just click on Getting to Sydney Olympic Park by Bicycle.

rollercoaster maze

2009-08-29T00:56:00.000+10:00

I call it a rollercoaster maze this week. For couple of reasons...

One - being crazy as hell with my health. Blame it to the weather, I guess. It has been raining, then hot. cool. freezing. Aaargh. Bottom line, I got sick for couple of days.

Two - ain't no job for me. Am I overly qualified? that the only jobs around are for accountants. Will I even consider it just to be busy. Money's not really a problem at this point. But keeping me sane with something to do. I know I still have my fair share of reading materials, movies to watch and activities to do outdoors (biking, bush-walking, beach stroll). But working is just something that makes my mind and skills intact.

Three - meeting friends. socialising. fb games. these fucking vices. *&#@!! its just too much and I reckon I need to know my limit. Bum life just takes me away. I don't want to fall into the pit and begin whining.

I've already drawn up some plans on how I want to lead my life but the universe is not yet conspiring with me. Maybe not the right time yet. but when? What sorta job would be waiting for me. that event shall dictate what happens next.

Anxiously and desperately waiting...

beachy mood

2009-08-22T12:35:00.000+10:00

call it bitchy or beachy. both are correct. the previous blog is just too good to be true. exactly. i called the lease agent of that unit and found out that it is under police investigation. so the idea to move out for now is out of the question.

nice day today. 12-20 degrees. fair enough. sunny. nice to go the beach and have brunch. might go. i need to detoxify myself from last night's alcohol. i just need to breathe the gentle breeze of the beach. have a nice brunch. read my book.

btw, mqd stock is an all time low. i will definitely dispose of it. not worth investing for.